


This Great Serenity

by Rhiann101



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coping, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Violence, Marriage, Police, Pregnancy, Protective Bellamy, Protective Clarke, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-21 17:30:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 24,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8254310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhiann101/pseuds/Rhiann101
Summary: This is a Bellarke AU. Bellamy and Clarke are best friends even when Clarke got accidentally Pregnant from a One night stand, Bellamy was there for her. Clarke ended up marrying that guy because her parents forced her. Bellamy has been in love with her ever since they were 16. It just so happened Bellamy fell in love with the little boy she had as well. Bellamy works as a 911 operator as Clarke works in the hospital. One event changes everything.





	1. Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> please leave suggestions! encourages me to continue!

This story was inspired by some of the 'strangest 911 calls' on YouTube so I just thought you should know :D check out my other story.

Bellamy:

Ever since I was 16 I had been in love with Clarke Griffin. Back then I had no idea what these feelings were so of course I didn't act on them. Now it's too late... I was too late. She is married with a baby boy names Connor. Forced marriage of course, she was pushed by her parents or they told her that they would not support her... or should I say she would not support her. Her father, Jake died of cancer 3 years before she was 'knocked up'. I remember when she came to me with the news that she was pregnant. Even I was scared for her.

Flashback-

I heard a knocking at my door waking me up in the middle of he night. I quickly get up from my bed and groggily make my way down the stairs. I hear it again.

"Yeah, Yeah! I'm coming!" I yell out agitated. I finally get to the door and look through the peep hole wondering who the hell could be up at this hour. Seeing Clarke made my anxiety rise. She lives 20 minutes away form here... what the hell? Her hair is a it of a mess and it looks like she left somewhere in a hurry. My anxiety level is over the moon right now. Something is wrong.

I quickly open the door and as soon as I do she jumps into my arms throwing her arms over my shoulder I immediately wrap my arms around her waist pulling her closer and using my foot to close the door. She pushes her head further into my neck as I do the same to her. "Whats wrong Clarke?"

She doesn't say anything, but her sobs start to fill the room and gets louder as she starts to slip from my arms down to the floor. I follow her there not letting her go. After what I would guess was about 20 minutes she shakily whispers "I'm pregnant, Bell".

I pull back so I could look at her face using my fingers to wrap around her chin and force her to look at me. "what?" Hoping I heard her wrong, that my sleep deprived brain was playing tricks on me.

She cries harder, hyperventilating. "Hey, It's okay, You're okay." I try to get her to calm down, but all she does is shake her head no and try to pull away.

"No, It's not" She grumbles out between raged breaths.

I pull her to me then lifting her bridal style to my room. Once there I set her down on the bed and lay next to her, pulling the blanket with us. I hug her to me rubbing her back still trying to calm her. A While later She finally relaxes given her sobs and breathing were at bay for now.

"I'm pregnant" She repeating confirming my fears for her. I look down at her once again searching for an explanation

"who?" I grumble

she looks up at me, meeting my eyes. Lip quivering again as her eye's shine of tears. "Finn"

End Of Flashback-

I remember helping her through out her pregnancy... She had that glow that I loved so much. I remember how terrified I was when I got the call from Raven that she was in labor. I know the kid wasn't mine, but I was scared. Not only for the baby, but for Clarke she had been sick through out the pregnancy and the doctor said he didn't even know what was going on. I had no idea what was to come. When the kid did come she was extremely weak. I remember when I finally got to see her she barley was able to keep her eye's open let alone move at all. We all feared for her life. Thankfully after about a week she was able to leave the hospital given she was too weak before.

Which is why I am going over now to help with the baby and Clarke. Thankfully after a lot of convincing with Finn he 'allowed' me to stay over for a while even though I was going to anyway.


	2. Stop Lying.

Bellamy:

After that 20 minute drive to Clarke and Finn's house I get there to see no car in the drive way. I eye the drive way questioningly, wondering if Finn is the one that left her or maybe, hoping! that they all left for a bit. Maybe getting groceries? god I hope Finn isn't that stupid to take Clarke and the baby out yet. Given her state the last time I saw her, I would hope she wouldn't be moving at all. She needs to heal and moving around is just going to hurt her more. The doctor gave specific orders for her not to push it, in fact barley move at all. Which is why I'm here of course because she is too stubborn for her own good and plus who else is better than me to help with the baby.

Finally pulling myself from my own thoughts I open the door with out any further hesitation, not bothering to knock of course. "Yo, Princess!" Still hoping that she was not home alone at least.

"Here!" she called from up stairs. I run up the stairs hoping possibly Octavia or jasper or Monty was at least here with her. Reaching her and Finn's bedroom door I open it to find an empty bed and room.

"No, in here." I hear her call from the nursery. I also catch small murmuring of 'dumb ass' in there with it. I was going to say something smart back, but instead I find her leaning against the crib. Watching her trying to stay upright with my mouth hung open like an idiot. Closing it I rush over to her attempting to pick her up and bring her to the chair, but she weakly swats me away.

"Clarke!" I scold her. "What the hell? you KNOW what the doctor told you!" I practically yell at her trying to get this through her thick skull of hers.

"Yeah, yeah..." She nonchalantly sais as if she heard it a million times before. Then starting to sway and almost crumble to the ground, but I catch her.

"Damn it, now see?" I murmur as I take a glance at the crib and see no baby. I was wondering was there was no crying baby when I scolded her. I take her into the master bedroom and lay her on the bed. "Where is little munchkin?"

"Finn took him to see his parents" She sighed weekly as if she disagreed with him. I finish pulling the blankets up to her and tucking her in like a child. After I sat next to her on the bed, putting my hands on her thigh.

"Dumb ass" I murmur under my breath, but she caught me. Earning a laugh to bubble up from her. Though my mood washed away as anger and irritation formed it's place. "Now, why the hell would he take a new born baby! outside and into a car to meet germs." I shake my head looking over at her, trying to figure out what she thought. "Not only that, but away from his mother who just had him. I thought space walker was smarter than that." I take my hand away and use it to rub my face in frustration. Not taking my eye's off her. She turns away from my eye's trying to focus on anything else. "what?" I guess I'll try and get it out of her.

She turns her attention back to me. "Nothing" Going back to avoiding my eye's. Before I can push forward and try to get it out of her she answers. "It's just... I tried to tell him it wouldn't be safe for him but..." She stops abruptly to take a breath. "He wouldn't listen to me and..." She winces as if she thought of something.

"And?" I push her to answer me.

"Nothing." She quickly answers me as if she knew she would have to say that.

"Clarke-" I try to warn her to not lie to me, but she cuts me off.

"No, Bellamy." She answers the unspoken question I had that she knew I was going to ask. Which was if he hurt her or the baby. Irritation rushes through me mostly from this bullshit I always recieve from people who just want to lie. I push myself off the bed and quietly tell her "I'll make lunch" Before going downstairs and taking out my cell phone to call this ass.

This was going to be a long conversation.


	3. I Will Return.

Bellamy:

The phone must have rang a few times before it went to voice mail. I ended the call before I had to hear his voice. I swear he'll get an ear full when he gets back. Why the hell did Clarke have to get pregnant by this guy? He's a fucking idiot. I walk into the kitchen looking through everything to find something to make. Deciding to make pizza I grab the frozen box from the freezer and begin to read the directions. Before I could get to putting the pizza in the oven I hear the floors from upstairs creek. I practically throw the pizza on the counter and run up stairs.

"Clarke!!?" I yell from halfway up the stairs. No answer, of course. Once I reach the top of the stairs I see her leaning against the wall trying to continue walking. "Jesus Christ!" I swear at her swiftly walking up to her.

"Bellamy..." She whines at me, trying to stop me from stopping her.

"No, Clarke you need to stop. Your going to get hurt!" I reach for her, but she takes one hand from the wall and swats at me.

"Bellamy! I gotta pee!, What would you like me to do huh? pee the damn bed?" She sarcastically whines again.

"No, I'd rather you would call for me!" She tries to get around me, but I move in her way. She pulls back when I try to help her a second time. Pulling herself back to the wall then using all of her strength to push me away irritatingly. Immediately after she tried to she groans and bends over.

Whispering to herself, but I cough it "ow, ow, ow." I bend down so I could look at her face and hold it in my hands. Her eye's tear up.

"How, much pain are you in Clarke? Is it even normal to still be in pain it's been a few days"

After a moment she looks at me and shakes her head yes. Still not answering my other question so I ask again. "On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is the pain?" She mumbles something I couldn't understand and straightens up again allowing me to get back on my feet. I put my arms around her and almost pick her up, but only enough to allow her to walk better without so much weight though not enough to pick her feet off the ground. I get her to the bathroom and release her next to the toilet. I walk back out and shut the door waiting for the flush of the toilet. Once I do hear it I walk back in and help her to wash her hands and bring her back to the room.

Once she was back into the position I had left her in before I watch as her eye's start to close, but I catch a tear slip from her eye's again. "Are you in pain?" I get closer to her sitting next to her on the opposite side of the bed.

"no-" She was cut off by her lip quivering and a sob. Pain in my chest shoots through my body. Before I could push on and ask her what's wrong she continues. "I miss my baby-" Again she cries so I lay next to her and hug her rubbing her back.

"I know Clarke... I know." I think to myself 'I'll kill him' over and over in my head. after what seems like an hour her sobs stop and darkness consumes me.

\----

I'm awaken by the sound of a baby crying. I get up quickly aware of a still sleeping Clarke. Once down stairs I see a baby car seat and walk over to it rubbing my eye's. I look around and see no Finn so I bend over and undo the babies car seat buckles, lifting him out of it trying to hush him.

"Your still here?" I hear a tired voice come from the kitchen. Anger fills me as I walk, carrying the baby with me into the kitchen. The baby finally stopped crying a but as I popped a Binky in his mouth from off the counter. I bring my attention back to Finn, glaring at him.

"Yeah I'm still here, but the question is why weren't you?" I step closer to him. "You knew it was too early to separate him and Clarke!" This time he steps closer to me. "Plus, you left her here alone! in her condition." He looks me up and down taking note of me.

"She is old enough to look after herself, she said she would be fine."

"well, that's Clarke! you should have known what she would say, god... are you slow or something?" I bring my voice down more into a sound like a growl.

Finn sais nothing else, but reaches for the child. I pull away heading upstairs for Clarke, Before I could get there Finn pulls on my shirt and makes me stumble. "where the hell are you going?" He menacingly growls at me.

"To bring this child to his mother." I growl back at him glancing down at the sleeping angel. Then gladly walking up the stairs and into the master bedroom, sitting next to her again. Taking one hand away and using it to shake her awake. "Clarke..." She stirs than looks up at me, I turn and tug on the string turning on the lamp. I turn back to her to see her confusion turn into joy and a bright smile. I smile at her knowing she was happy. I hand her Connor as Finn enters, he glares and me and I do the same noticing it was time for me to make my exit. Before I leave I decide to make Finn even angrier by kissing Connors head then Clarke's cheek before leaving, with a smile on my face.

Oh, I'll be back. I will return, don't you worry Finn. I laugh at my weirdness before getting in my car and heading home.


	4. 911, What's Your Emergency?

Bellamy:

It's been 5 years...

5 years with out seeing much of Clarke...

5 years of watching her son, Connor grow.

5 years of one night stands and drinks.

Right now Clarke is upset with me because she had to pick me up from the bar. I had apparently started a bar fight with another guy for some unknown reason. Of course I just had to drink the night before work... I work as a 911 operator. I completely regret last night, but I can't do much now...

I'm supposed to work... 5 more hours then I'm out of here and I can try and get Clarke to forgive me. I know she can't be that mad at me, right?

"Yo, Blake!" I look over to see Nathan trying to get my attention. I must have zoned out.

"What do you want miller?" I grumble taking another Advil.

"You got a call." I look down to see the all so familiar flashing light on the phone we are all forced to use. Regret once again fills me as I shoot Miller an apologetic look.

"911 what's your emergency?" I ask readying myself for what's to come.

"Get down on the ground!" I hear a voice shout in the background. I know these calls. Usually the people that are kept captive are not able to speak so they call and have us listen so we could track the call. Many will try and get the person to talk, I have made that mistake before. It got someone killed... Not this time. I wave the Boss over as he listens in on the call.

"Everyone on the ground!" My fingers go lightening speed on the key board trying my hardest to track this call. It takes a minute, but I finally get it and point on the screen showing the boss. 'nice going Blake' He mouths to me. I nod my head listening in on the call again. Adjusting the headset on my head and sitting back in comfortably into my chair again.

*bow! bow!* My eye's widen in horror as I listen to the horrifying sound through the phone. I hold my hand over the mic.

"Shot's fired!" I yell out to the boss who is taking to someone over the phone. Probably the police department. I turn my attention back to the situation at hand and whisper "If your okay, press a number on the phone."

I hear the harsh tone of the beep through the phone. breathing in a sigh of relief. Then hearing the distant sound of sirens and allowing myself to end the call but before I do I once again whisper.

"Your gonna be okay. Help is there." Then ending it. I lean back in my chair praying for those who have become a victim in that place tonight. Miller gives me a saddening look from the other side of the head board separating us. "don't even bother asking Miller" He throws his hand up in defense before he gets interrupted by his phone ringing and the raw light flashing. I look at the clock seeing it's break time for me. I turn off my machines and walk out the bland, cold and dull door that I see almost everyday right after these horrible situations run in and out of this town.

I take out my phone and dial Clarke's number. Hoping she answers, But it goes straight to voice mail. Instead of hanging up I listen to it. "Hey, it's Clarke-" I laugh at that thinking of a smart comment like 'well yeah who else?' Then laughing a a little more before I bring my attention back to the voice through the phone. "-all you back when I get the chance" Then the soft tone of the voice message system noting it was time for me to give my message, but I hang up instead. I take a few more moments to myself, breathing in the fresh air before going back into the hot and tense room.

It's dark in here other than the small flashing lights of the phones and the computer screens. Not to mention the harsh lighting from the cafeteria in the other room down the long, dark hall. Sitting back down onto the uncomfortable chair and turning the machines back on and immediately getting a call. Quickly putting my head set back on and pushing the button back on. I take a breath- in... out-

"911, what's you emergency?"

"Hewp-" I young child answered him. Vary young. Too young.

"Are you okay?" I hope they are okay at least.

"Beymy?" My heart stops. I hear the child start to cry. There is distant yelling in the back ground... male...

"Connor?"


	5. Drifting Away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> play skinny love (song)

Clarke:

Don't play song until shown :D

Finn has become... different... lately. Very distant. He comes home late and usually in a bad mood. I pressed him about it and he told me it was work. I didn't believe him so I pressed on and he slapped me. He didn't stop there either, He hit me again and again from slap to backhand as if his hand had become a wave in an ocean trying to drown me in a storm of anger. He pushed me to the ground. I land with a thud against the front door releasing an 'oof' in shock of the hit. I look up at him with watery eye's

"Finn..." He holds his hand up as if to hit me again. I flinch away, waiting for the abuse to begin again. It never came... I open my eye's again to see that he had left my sight. This isn't the first time he had done this. A week before and a few times before that again after work. I hadn't gone to see Bellamy much given he would see my state so I made excuses. I have to resolve this on my own. Then I realize... if he is upstairs he could hurt Connor. I lift myself off the ground and run up the stairs storming into my sons room seeing him sound asleep in his space ship bed he had asked for from Christmas last year. It's in the middle of June now and he still loves it. In fact his whole room is filled with space themes. I smile at the memories. A loud crash breaks me to reality, sounds like glass. I run into where I heard it come from. Our bedroom has shards of glass everywhere on the polished wooden floor. There is a dark stain on our comforter on the end of the bed. Finn stands above it with a smirk on his lips and a bottle of gin in his right hand slowly bringing it to his lips.

He stops right as his eye's lift from the glass on the floor to me and sets the bottle back down. He makes his way towards me and as a result I move back into the hall way wanting to keep away from this man I know is not Finn. Not the man I married.

"stop... Finn... Please our son is in the other room." He backs me into the hall and into the pale colored wall next to Connors door that is cracks a bit from me. I mustn't have closed it all the way when I left. He looks over at Connors room and smirks bringing his attention back to me.

"Why not wake our perfect son and show him how his 'mommy' and 'daddy' have the most lovely marriage. huh?" He gives a small laugh before turning towards his room, but I step in front of it holding out my arms so he could not pass that easily.

"Don't you fucking dare, you bastard" I never called him something like this before, but I just wanted his attention on me and not our son. He was innocent in all this. He would have to kill me before he could even look at Conno-. That's when. The ass hole back handed me making me fall to the ground next to the wooden stair case. there are about 4 steps before a wall where you would have to turn and continue your decent down stairs about 10 more steps with a wooden railing.

He leans down next to me. Takes his calloused hand and hold my chin to fave him as my right hand is against my cheek, nursing it. "Fuck you, Clarke" He grips me harder as I try to turn away. "Don't you EVER talk to me like that again..." He starts to slowly release me and he grins evilly. "I am your husband" He spits. loosing his grin and bringing his foot back. Before I could react or even defend myself his foot comes in contact with my sit pushing me down the first flight of stairs hitting the wall. I cry out in pain pulling myself in a fatal position as he jumps down the first flight; next to me. Finn swears at me and continually tells me about how I ruined his life. I couldn't pay attention because something catches my eye. Finn doesn't seem to notice as he enters his own mind.

Connor steps out of his room with tired and scarred eye's. My yell in pain must have woken him, Damn it. I shake my head no. All he does is stare at Finn though. I can see in his eye's that even he does not recognize his own father. His dark brown eye's shift back to me before he runs off into my and Finn's room.

Play song now-

"Are you listening to me?" Finn shakes my shoulders hurling my up and against the wall, hitting my head in the process. I turn my attention back to him. He continues his rant, holding me in place. I see Connor sneak in the back behind Finn with the phone cautiously. "Hey!" Finn yells again. This time his anger got the best of him and he hurls me down the second flight of stairs 'till I hit the hard floor bellow the stairs. I also hear Connors cry and his little feet hit the floor. Finn must have heard him as well because when I look up I don't see Finn. Instead I hear a pounding. and Finn's yelling to let him in. My smart boy, He must have locked his door. I smile weakly. My breathing is still hard from the fall, it knocked the breath out of me pretty well.

Finn's feet hits the floor as well. He must have given up. He runs down the stairs jumping over me as he makes his way into the kitchen, I hear the droors sliding against it's wheels. My eye's widen in horror as I realize he must be grabbing a knife. I groan as I lift my self off the floor best I could and make my way towards the living room using the walls as I lean on them. Finn comes back and confirms my suspicions. He pushes me against the coffee table holding his hand around my neck to keep me still as he brings the kitchen knife just above my belly button. "So quiet now huh? Well you weren't so quiet when you were Questioning me! huh?!" I swallow as he brings the knife higher.

"Answer me!" He practically screams in my ear.

"F-Finn... Stop..." Tears break my eye's running down my face and down my neck. He uses the knife point and pushes into my chin forcing me to look up.

"You ruined everything for me!" He looks back and forth from my eye's to the knife as if to contemplate his next decision before whispering. "you deserve this" It sounds like he said it more to himself than to me. He swiftly pulls back the knife and plunges it just below my ribs, right in the middle next to my stomach. I gasp in pain and shock. This is NOT happening. I'm dreaming. I have to be. Maybe when he hit my head into the wall I black out and I'm just unconscious. More tears fall as I fall in front of the coffee table hitting my head once again in the process. Finn waits until I fall before he rips the knife back out and pushing it right back into my left thigh. I scream again in agony. Please black out... please. please. please.

Black and white spots dance before my vision as I see Finn take the knife back out and hearing a clink next to me on the table. He must have put it on there because after he doesn't have it. Then he grabs his jacket, the keys and leaves.

I start crying more as I hear the squeak of the door upstairs and the pitter patter of Connors feet as he descends down stairs. He starts to cry as well. I look up to see his little hand holding the phone to his ear next to his wavy, blond, and thick curls as he whispers something into the phone while he sees my wounds. He drops to his knees next to me. I shake my head no again, trying to tell him to not look, but my voice is too weak and it only squeaks.

"Mamma!" he cries into the phone using his other hand to grip mine and lean closer putting the phone to my ear. "it's beymy" He sniffles. My brave boy.

"Hey Clarke" I hear Bellamy's voice through the phone and the sound of a motor, he must be driving. I try to talk, but I just squeak a little more as if when Finn left he took my voice with him. "Don't- Don't try to talk right now Clarke just listen." I shake my head even though I know he can't see me. "Your gonna be okay-" His voice breaks. he's crying. I cry some more just listening to one of the strongest people I know cry over me. I hear distant sirens from afar. Connor takes the phone off my ear as he runs to the window talking to Bellamy. I couldn't seem to concentrate on what he was saying.

I just started to drift into unconsciousness as flashes of red and blue come from outside. It's over.


	6. Together We'll Find You.

Bellamy:

I tried to tell Connor to stop and to not go down stairs yet. His definitely had Clarke's stubbornness because he was full on about seeing his mother. I heard the creaking of the stairs through the phone.

Already at the thought of what the hell could be going on brought tears to my eye's. Is Clarke okay? I swear to god if that bastard had hit her I'm gonna kill him myself. I hear Connor whisper, "Mamma is bweeding on her baey and weg" My heart clenches. She's hurt. A tear slips past it's boarders, but doen't get far because I wipe it away with the back of my hand. With he click of a button I transfer the call to my cell phone.

"Mamma?" I hear his scared little voice again. he must be with Clarke. I make my way out the door with out telling anyone. Miller calls my name, but I ignore him and continue towards a cop car. Taking my key's out for it I tell Connor.

"Let me talk to Mommy, okay?" He doesn't respond. I hear shifting through the phone and him murmur something out that I couldn't hear. I then hear sharp, quick breaths through the phone. Oh Clarke...

"Hey Clarke" I am able to talk through the unexpected tears that now flow my face as I sniffle and race down the interstate. She starts to say something, but it all comes out in little squeaks and breaks in her voice. "Don't- Don't try to talk right now Clarke, just listen" My foot presses the gas peddle harder as I see flashing lights ahead where they head to Clarke's house as well. "Your gonna be okay-" I try to speak through the incoming sobs, but fail and my voice breaks as a small whimper escapes. She starts crying with me. I hear more shuffling as Connor turns the phone back on him.

"Are you comin'?" Connor's tired little voice breaks through the small silence though through the phone I could hear the sirens of the dispatch sent to them finally arrives. I'm a few street down.

*play music*

"Yeah, But Con you have to make sure mommy is okay. Okay? go to her. Keep her awake bud." I move the phone away from my ear for a split second as I use the back of my hand to angrily rub the tears off.

"I-I Can't!" He starts to cry again. I'm surprised he could make it that far with out freezing. So brave.

"It's okay I'm hear now okay? Go outside." I don't wait for him respond as I hang up. I pull the police car to the side walk and shove my phone back in my pocket as I jump out and start running inside.

"It's good guys!" I yell to my co-workers" They don't question me. I'm friends with just about all of them and they know who's house this is. I spot Connor run out and towards me, crying. I pick him up and run him to the ambulance so he could be checked out. I couldn't even explain to Connor what I was doing or that I would be right back. I ran right inside, past the other medics and police man/Woman. Storming through the door and immediately seeing Clarke in a pool of her own blood in front of the coffee table. The bloody knife on top of it.

I drop to my knees next to her taking her cold hand in one hand and her cheek in the other. "Clarke?" I start crying again as I look over her wounds, but I'm interrupted as I'm pulled away by my Co-workers as the medics check Clarke to see if she is Breathing and if she has a pulse. I'm too frozen, thinking it's a dream. Murphy, a friend of both me and Clarke takes me outside to breath. It's then I realize I wasn't breathing. Murphy tries to get me to, But I couldn't how could I when my oxygen was taken away from me tonight. The only thing that filters through my heart and lungs. The thing that drives me every day is gone...

I'm shaking so badly. The only thing that keeps me from passing out is the tiny arms that ring around my shoulders as I then realize I was crouching in the grass outside of her house. I turn so he could hug me properly. It's dark outside, the cool air going through his blonde curls as I bring one hand to the back of his head and the other around his back falling the rest of the way to the ground. Cradling him, not daring to look over to where Clarke is getting escorted away and into an ambulance.

The sirens were drowned out by mine and Connors cries.

All I remember from then Is Octavia picking us up and taking us back to my house for the night. Connor never left my side and was terrified to sleep alone and frankly so was I so we slept in my room together. My face in his curls with silent tears still rolling down my face.

In the morning neither one of us has the ability to eat even when Octavia demands it. We lay in bed most of the day not knowing what to do now. Finn escaped. I wouldn't let him out of my sight. I'm too terrified to know if Clarke has made it or if she will. I don't even know about anything at this moment. It feels like I'm living a nightmare. I'm just relieved that they are away from that bastard. I will love Connor like my own. He will be nothing like Finn.


	7. God, Give Me The Strngth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EF_jO19B24c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> play radioactive violin version from imagine dragons, link above.

Don't play music yet. This is a filler chapter.

Bellamy:

We're at the hospital now. Same day. We finally worked up the courage to come see her, if she is still alive. For some reason I'm stuck here in front of these hospital doors wondering if I want to find out. It's getting dark out, it must be about 7. Connor has my right hand doing the same as me.

"Come on Bell, you guys can do this." Octavia comes up behind us nudging me, trying to encourage me. I look down at Connor to find his dark brown eye's staring right back at me, asking me. The silent question lingers 'is it going to be okay' I knew the answer, but does anyone really know. I look back ahead as Octavia takes my other hand and leads us inside.

The dark haired, middle aged woman at the desk almost immediately locks eye's with us, ready for anything. Unlike me.

"Excuse me, we" Octavia turns to point between us then looks back at her. "Are here to see if Clarke Griffin is here?" The lady opens her mouth, but was cut off by another voice.

"I was expecting you guys..." Our heads whip to the right to find Mrs. Griffin herself.

"Hey, Abby" My voice is hoarse from not being able to speak for a while. Offering her a weak smile. She returns it with a watery one. Blinking away the tears she turns to the lady at the desk.

"I got this-" Her voice cracks by the end as if she was going to cry then shaking her head just like she were to ward off the in coming tears. telling herself not to cry.

She then waves for us to follow her down a long, white hallway. Blank stares from the nurses that wait near by their patients. A ceiling light flickers from afar. Suddenly a loud 'ding' sound goes off. I know that sound. It signals that a birth has taken place. It's funny how in one place both life and death takes place hear. I just hope I don't experience both in the same day.

Play music.

"Right down here" She points to the end of the hallway. Not looking at us. I wouldn't dare ask just yet if she was okay or not. Relief falls over me as I suddenly realize that she is in fact alive. Another weak smile finds it's way to the surface of my face. It doesn't disappear either, It stays there as I look into the window of the door. She's sleeping. I waste no more time away. I release Connors hand and push open the door with a 'clink' as the door nob flips back to it's original placing. The others not far behind, I pull over a chair and grab her hand. A white sheet is tucked between and under her still hands. A blue and pink blanket lays, folded at the end of the bed covering her feet partly. The plastic barriers at the end of the bed are a cold gray similar to the color of the heart monitor and other machines I have no idea what are used for. Connor is next to me a hand on my lap and the other on the side of the bed.

I look over at him and smile at him releasing a silent answer. 'everything will be okay' He smiles back as I let him on my lap. Octavia and Abby are on the other side. I look up at her expectantly.

She smiles at me, tears falling. "I think she'll be... okay" She brings her hand down to caress her daughters cheek sincerely. My eye's never leave hers. "We were able to stitch and repair the damage that occurred in her upper ab-domain. Her leg..." She shakes her head again. "Her leg muscle was torn severely, just scraping past her bone, though causing a lot of damage. I'm confident she'll walk, but..." She looks to me and then to Connor. "That may be a while and she may live with a limp." She sighs as though the news took a great effort form her.

I swear under my breath looking back to Clarke. I know she can do this. I kiss the top of Connors head. Octavia runs her hand over Clarke's arm showing a silent goodbye and looking to me with a nod as she leaves the room. She is probably going to cry. I don't blame her I'm about to myself. These past few days have been eventful. Me and Connor stayed there for a night waiting for her to wake. I want to be here for her when she does. God give me the strength to move on. I don't know if there is a Jesus, but I know there is a god out there or someone. Because if there wasn't none of us would be here. Someone had to think of us. Who? is the question the world alone is questionable who knows anything until death.


	8. 3 Days Away.

Clarke:

A bright light floods my vision. I squint, trying to get used to it. I try and lift my left hand, but I couldn't. Finally I get used to it and look over towards that hand to see the reason I couldn't lift it. Bellamy. His head lays on the hospital bed with his hand clenching mine. Even in his sleep his grip is tight. Not like I'm complaining, it makes me feel safe. I looks to my right to find Connor spread out on the two hospital chairs, sleeping. I smile at the memory of putting him to sleep everyone while watching his face relax and fall asleep. Finn. The memory brings the thought of him back. Where is he now? Did he get away or did they get him? My breathing must have gotten heavier as I hear the beeping of the heart machine get closer together and higher pitched. Tears form in my eye's and start to tip over. Sobs erupt from me. Is this a panic attack? yes. I must be. I can't help, but think where Finn is and what he must be doing. He has to be planning something. Does he know I'm alive?

 

A shift in the bed takes me from my thought, but my breathing and sobs don't settle instead they continue to get more violent. I see Bellamy's worried eye's catch mine. Shuffling comes from the other side of the bed as I see Connor sit up, rubbing his eye's. looking at me with in a sad daze. Bellamy grabs my face and turns it to make me look at him.

"Listen Clarke, your okay. Everything's okay. He tries to soothe me, but it doesn't help I feel like I can't breath and with every sob I feel as though they take my breath with them. My heart Monitor freaks out drawling attention outside the room. The heart alarm must have gone off at the desk. A nurse runs in quickly. She sees my broken state and calls for more help. She walks over and rushes Connor out while telling Bellamy to leave, But he doesn't move. He just stares at me with scared eye's. He never let go over my hand either.

"You need to leave." I then notice she had come back and this time with other nurses and doctors surrounding me. Whats Happening? I want to go home. I try to get out of bed, But they hold me down while grabbing Bellamy's arm and starting to drag him out.

"Stop Your scaring her! Stop!" Bellamy tries to fight off the male nurses, but fails as it takes thee to make him leave. I want him here with me. I can still hear his yells from outside the room and over the loud beeping of the machines. They all smile down at me telling me things like 'your safe' and 'your okay' even 'you need to calm down' then the occasional 'everything's fine, honey.' But I apparently just wouldn't calm. I need Bellamy. I finally find the words and breath to let them know.

"I want Bellamy" Right after I continue crying. I try and push them away seem that are really close stumble back while others hold their ground. I hear soft murmurs between each other. Some leave the room as other continue to calm me. There are about 3 left in the room. They still wouldn't allow me to see Bellamy not even my son. Soon after I fall asleep from my own sobs and exhaustion.

 

Bellamy:

I sit back in the waiting room watching every doctor that walks down that hall way and into the waiting room expecting them to tell me 'It's okay to see her now.' That message never comes. It's been an hour. Abby left hours ago before she had awaken as she had been working for the past 12 hours. Connor is back asleep next to me all scrunched up in a chair. I shake my legs impatiently as I lean on my elbows while they are placed on my legs. I bring my hands up to rub my face. How much longer? I texted Octavia and Abby on anything new since they left yesterday when we brought her here. It's about 3 pm. I hear and feel the buzzing of my I phone in my front pocket. I reach in and turn it on to see Octavia's Number and her picture in place. I remember when I took that photo. She was getting pranked by Clarke when she threw that water balloon at her. Her face shows both shock and anger. I smile lightly before answering.

"Yeah?" I weakly ask.

"What's going on?" she quickly asks. I don't answer for a few seconds. I'm not sure if I'm about to cry, yell or just freak out. But I know it's not going to be okay as Tears pool in my eye's. I sniffle as I answer.

"They won't let me see her, O." I release a small sob as Octavia sighs and began to talk.

"Bell-" She sounded sympathetic. I cut her off though.

"When she woke up..." I look up at the ceiling recalling the memory. "She... She had a panic attack. The Doctors forced us out while they surrounded her. She tried to get up, but they force her down." I shake my head at the scene I play in my head over again. "She was so scared." I sniffle again. "Connor had no idea what was going on. Thank god. I'm sure he'll want to know when he wakes. " I look over at him sadly. wondering if he'll be able to take in what's really going on. Does he even understand? He's so young.

"So, Is she okay now?" It sounds like she moved closer to the phone as if she would get more information.

"Only if I knew. They haven't told me anything." I look up at the front desk wondering if I should just ask.

"Do you need me to come?" I hear movement through the phone. I know she'll come anyway.

"Yeah actually can you come get Connor?"

"Yeah, Of course." I can already hear her getting in her car.

. . .

About 10 minutes later I see Octavia walk in.

"Anything yet?" She questioningly asks on her way over to us. Connor had just awaken about a few minutes ago to an emergency. I didn't see much other than a gurney and someone with an air bag attacked to their mouth while practically bleeding out.

"Nothing." I grumble in an agitated tone. Leaning back in my chair as I reach over and ruffle Connors curly, blonde hair. Silently prepping him to leave with Octavia.

"I think you need to leave too, bell. Just for a bit. You know get some air. She'll still be here when we get back." I nod my head no. "Come on" She nudges me. with her foot on my leg. "Let's get out of here."

"No, I'm good O, thanks." I look at the ground as she touches my shoulder and leaves with Connor. I breath a sigh, still waiting. Feet appear in front of me. I list my head Expecting to see Octavia, Instead I see A doctor. I can tell he was a Doctor by the clip board and his I.D. tag that stated it. I quickly stand up almost bumping into him. He sits across from me in the plastic blue covering made by wood chairs. He gestures for me to sit as well.

"Mrs. Collins Correct?" I shiver at the name.

"That is Correct." I nod and fumble with my hands nervously. I'm hunched back over leaning on my elbows again.

"I want you to know that she is fine and that she has calmed from when she first awoken." He flips through the papers clipped to the board. "Also she will be released in about 3 days exactly." I smile happily and stand up with him running my hand through my hair.

"Thank you, Doctor." He nods back in response and silently leaves. He suddenly turns around to face me and continues.

"You may see her." He smiles as his thick mustache lifts up. He must be in his early 50's. God bless his sole. I couldn't last much longer with out seeing her. As I walk back to her room I text her mother and Octavia updates before walking in. She's awake. She smile's up at me weakly.

"Hey Princess." I take a seat next to her.

"Hey..." She offers me her hand.

I kiss her hand not breaking eye contact. "Your going home soon." She sighs a relief before stiffening again. I realize what I said. I cover it quickly though. "With me. You and Connor." She relaxes again and squeezes my hand thankfully.

. . .

She's finally released. We had to use a wheel chair to get her to the car. Connor was so happy to be with his mom again. He wouldn't stop talking to her the whole way home. Once we did get back I carried her inside and put her in the guest room.

"Wait, Bell." She grasps my hand before I could leave her and Connor alone. She looks into my eye's intently. "Never mind..." She releases my hand. looking away and at Connor.

"No, what is it, Princess?" I sit down on the side of the bed grabbing her hand again.

"Can we be... with you?" She looks me in the eye's again, playing with my fingers. "Like we all sleep in the same room..." She gestures around the room. My smile appears and starts to grow. "And like... in the same bed..." She lays her hand on the bed. I burst out laughing. Connor joins me and Clarke stares and starts to laugh as well, looking embarrassed. Her cheeks grow read. I hunch over laughing my ass off and then begin to calm. Connor found more interest in the blanket than us and began to play with it.

"You couldn't have been more awkward about that-" I start laughing again, but sober up quickly as she playfully punches me in the shoulder. "Yes we can sleep together." I playfully say back as she glares at me.

"You know what I meant!" She smiles at me as we all lay together. Connor in between us. mine and Clarke's hand entwines over him as we settle down and drift off.

. . .

I have no idea what to write about after this? Any Ideas? I need help XD


	9. Where Are We Now?

Bellamy:

Clarke has been doing well. It's been a whole week since she got back. Every night we all slept in one bed together, in the guest room. My leave from work has expired and I go back today. I really don't want to leave them here alone, but I have no choice. Octavia and Lincoln are out of town on business. Jasper and Monty aren't picking up the phone. Raven is also working with Wick so I'm screwed. Plus Miller and Roma obviously can't because they're on the same shift as me.

"Bell, We'll be fine." She whines as she leans on the railing, hopping on one leg down the stairs.

"Clarke!" I run up to her half way up the stairs and grab her around the waist helping her the rest of the way down the stairs and onto the couch. The stairs opens up the the living room then of you go straight from the front door there is this hallway that leads to a kitchen which is to the right of the dining room. It's like a circle, each room opens to each other through open doorways. It's almost 8 A.M. I gotta go soon.

"Beymy!" Connor coos happily as he runs down the stairs. I turn just in time for his embrace. I crouch down and lift him up. He has a little green muscle shirt on and tan sweat pants on his little legs.

"Hey, bud." I have an arm under his butt and the other supporting his back while he rubs his eye's.

"Are you weeving?" He asks sadly. I shake my head yes then kissing his temple. I let him down and ruff his hair up. Turning to Clarke and seeing her smiling up at us.

"See ya, Princess" I walk over to her bend down and hug her before turning back to the door.

"Don't forget to call me at 12 while I'm on a lunch break. Then Ill call you at 3 on my break. Ill be home by 5." I Call to her while grabbing my jacket and keys.

"Yeah yeah yeah." She replies. Before leaving I look over to see her and Connor on the couch snuggling and turning the T.V. on. His legs are draped over her thighs as she has her arm over his little shoulders and down his stomach. I smile while walking to my car and leaving. God I'll miss them all day.

Clarke:

It's about 11:40 when I make mine and Connors Lunch. The distant sound of the T.V. is on as Connor is watching one of his favorite shows. He's been loving bubble guppies. It sucks having a bad leg. My torso is still sore, but not that bad. My leg feels like fire when I walk on it. I'm making Roman noodle's, Chicken Flavor. I'm currently on my good legs knee, on a char in front of the stove stirring. My bad leg is hanging down as I use my toes for balance.

Finally, it's done. I drain the water in the sink, letting the noodles fall into the strainer. I separate them into two bowls, adding the flavoring and stirring again.

"It's done baby!" I call into the living room. Not long after I hear the pitter patter of his feet as he runs into the Kitchen. "Careful. Don't run." I say as I set the bowls down. We are on opposite ends of the table. It's silent. Only the sounds of his adorable slurping of his noodles can be heard. I walk over to the counter next to the sink and turn the radio on. The middle of 'your love is my drug' Plays. I look over to see Connors cute smile arise. I realize in that moment that I would do anything for him. Just t see that smile again. It's been away since he had smiled like that.

Our heads bob to the beat as we start singing along to it. He uses his fork as a microphone. I break out laughing at him as he pretends to sing. I clap my hands to the beat, giving him encouragement.

"Woo!" I yell over the music as he starts dancing. I continue laughing in entertainment. He laughs with me and then sits back down. A few more songs go by as we finish our lunch. I put the dishes away after washing them and then join him on the couch after shutting the music off. I look under the T.V. to look at the time and see it's 12:17. Damn it.

With out a word I pull Connor off me and quickly make my way to the kitchen. I try and ignore the stabbing pain in my leg as I grab my phone off the counter. I frantically dial Bells number. God he's going to be pissed. It took a single ring before he picked up.

"Clarke?!" He sounds panicked yet hopeful.

"Yeah. Sorry Bell time got away from us." I cringe at my excuse.

"Call me at 12 means to call me at 12 Clarke!" He sighs before continuing. "You scared me. I was about to leave work." Oh god. what have I done?

"I know. I know I'm sorry me and Connor." I point at the living room to where he is even though I knew he could not see me. I turn that direction, but my eye's catch Connor leaning against the open door way watching me. I sigh. "It won't happen again. I promise. I'm sorry."

"Yeah..." There was a moment of silence. "Look Clarke. I guess since today so far has not been too busy Jaha's letting some of us off early." I scoff.

"Really? Jaha?" I reply in disbelief yet relieved the subject has changes. Regret still filters through me like a dying light.

"yeah, I know right? He came to work all happy and stuff so. I have no Idea what's up with him, but I'm not questioning the rest of the day off." I hear movement through the phone which probably meant he was getting ready to leave. "I'll be home soon."

"Alright, bye Love you." I freeze. Silence fills the room. Nothing comes back from the other line it's completely quiet. It's almost Erie. Those words just slipped. God I'm so stupid. I realize I had shut my eye's in shock after I said that so I open them and lock eye's with Connor to find him Smiling again. I shoo him away, Embarrassingly. He complies as he giggles and runs back in the other room. I hear his smirk through Bellamy's response.

"I'll be there soon." God I'm a joke! I hang up the phone and make my way up stairs.

"Ugh!" My groaning gets louder as I take another hop up the stairs on my good leg. Still using the railing for support. Connors laughs get louder every time I do. He's practically heaving for breath in between laughs. I give him a glare before am in-able to see him past the upstairs wall. I use the wall as support all the way to the guest room down the hall and to the right. I groan again as I flop on the bed. I don't move despite the faint laughs of Connor. I laugh to myself listening to him. Once his laughs die down about 5 minutes pass as I hear the front door swing open.

A soft 'Beymy!' erupts from the silence telling me it's definitely him. Embarrassment rush's through me and down my spine along with regret. God I'm so stupid. How do I explain that? Heavy steps sound through out the house. Connor must have told him where I was... Great...

Chuckles bounce off the walls of the hall as I hear his steps stop in front of the door. Oh god! I'm still face down on the bed. I list myself up on the bed and go back to laying face down on the pillow while covering myself with the Blanket. The clicking of the door echo's. Not far behind that sound 3 heavy steps sound as I then feel his body fall onto the bed. Go away... I laugh inwardly at my won comment.

He crawls in next to me and pulls me to him. I feel his lips press against my hair.

"Look at me, please?" I turn my head in return. He runs his hand in my hair, trying to keep them from my face. His face comes close to mine. "I love you too." I couldn't reply as his lips make contact with mine. We found a rhythm and moved with it. A familiar giggle makes us both jump and look at the open door to see Connor. He's smiling at us. He runs up the bed and jumps up then over Bellamy and in the middle of us. Bellamy laughs at him and then we both make eye contact before tickling the crap out of him. We are lost in laughs and shouts that we didn't even realize the clearing of a throat.

"Well isn't this cute?" We all freeze and look at the door. Finn.

. . .

Ideas?


	10. Lets Not Talk.

Bellamy:

We all grow stiff while glaring at Finn.

"What the hell are you doing here, Space walker?" I practically growl at him. I slowly sit up and swing my legs over the bed; ready for anything.

He looks down at his nails as he leans against the door frame. He then looks up at us yet past me, still leaving his hand where he last saw it. I follow his line of sight to see he was staring at Clarke. I clench my jaw while whipping my head back around to catch him slowly making his way over to us.

"Oh, I'm here to take back what belongs to me." I quickly stand up, stopping him in his tracks of coming any closer to us. He holds up his hands in a mock of surrender. "Easy there. Just give me back what I own and you can go back to your sluts, Bellamy." He spits, staring right back at me. God I want to punch him right now, But I can't. Not in front of Connor he has seen enough. I don't need him thinking of me as a monster. Yet there is no way in hell he will be touching either of them.

"Well, there is no way your taking them so you might as well just leave." I point at the door angrily.

"Okay how about we compromise huh?" He shrugs with lifted eye brows. I listen nervously.

"Ill take my wife and you can keep the boy." I ball my hands up in a fist, digging my nails in the palm of my hand. My teeth grind against each other in annoyance.

"No way in burning hell!" Before I could continue Clarke speaks.

"Just go Finn. If you leave now we won't say anything." Her voice is shaky, I can tell she is scarred. I look behind me at them to find Connor pressed against her. Clarke's hand is holding onto his back while the other holds the back of his head. Connors on his left side, under the covers still. His little hands hold onto her shirt. My expression softens at the sight. When I turn back I notice Finn has gotten closer, challengingly so.

He's about a foot away from me. I shove at his chest. He stumbles back yet catching himself quite quickly. Once he finds his balance he smiles at me evilly. My expression hardens again at seeing him and hearing a menacing laugh along with it.

"You've always been one to protect haven't ya, Bellamy?" He points at me, shifting his weight form one foot to the other. I choose not to respond to his games. I just want to beat the shit out of him now. He doesn't say anything else. In stead he just charges at me. He knocks me to the ground at the end of the bed. He straddles my stomach as he punches me. He gets about 3 punches in before I grab the sides of his shirt and flip us.

"Bellamy, stop!" Clarke yells at me. I too filled with anger and vengeance to listen to her. Not soon after as I'm punching him I hear the softened cries of Connor. I can't stop now. I've come so close. Then Finn finds a burst of energy as he shoves me off. I land on my back, opposite of him. He climbs back on and punches anything, everywhere on me.

Clarke:

I lift Connor up and run into Bellamy's room. I lay Connor on the bed, grabbing his face trying to get his attention.

"Connor, baby listen to me." His sobs die down as he watches me. "When I leave your going to lock this door and don't unlock it until Bellamy comes to get you got it?" He shakes his head unknowingly of what I'm about to do. I nod back and release him, running out and back into the guest room to find Finn still on top of Bellamy. I Charge at him and jump at him. He falls back, off Bellamy with me on him. He pulls at me tides and lifts me up, throwing me against the wall next to us. My whole right side of my body goes numb for a moment as I smack against the wall.

I can still hear Bellamy's coughs from my left as he recovers from the blows he just received. Finn kneels in front of me, grabbing my throat and pinning me against the wall. His mad expression fills my vision as I claw at his hands and gasp for air all while his hands squeeze my neck like a dogs jaw as it locks around it's favorite toy. I feel the blood from my face still as it has no place to go. A quick sob rushes through me while a tear falls down my cheek. That seemed to catch Bellamy's attention as I hear him rush off the floor.

"No!" He barrels at Finn as he yells. Finns hand finally releases me as I no longer have the strength to sit up against the wall. I tumble down on my right side. Pins and needles fill my nerves as I meet the cold floor. Bellamy grabs Finn's shirt and drags him into the hall way, kicking and yelling. I crawl out the door as well to follow them. Nothing can happen to Bellamy. After about 2 minutes of watching them punch at each other I stand up after catching my breath and run and push Bellamy off Finn. He must have not expected it as he hit the wall across from us in between the 2 empty rooms. One used to be Octavia's when they had moved here a while ago. Now She has her own apartment with Lincoln.

Bellamy looks at me in utter shock. I ignore it and turn to Finn. He won't stop until he has what he wants and I'm not letting Bellamy take the fall for me any longer. "Just take me and leave Finn" I shrug at him nonchalantly. He looks at me in surprise as well. He then grabs me by my arm and shoulder, pushing me towards the stairs I get on the first step in front of Finn when I hear Bellamy.

"Hey!" We turn to see Bellamy running at us. Shock seems to have worn out as anger fills his face. He grabs Finn's shirt trying to drag him away from the stairs, but Finn has other Ideas. He uses his grip on me to push me forward. I have no time to grab anything as I mercilessly fall down the long stair way; down the stairs I tumble. This time there was no wall to stop me half way like at my old house. Nope, instead I completely fall down about roughly 22 steps. A pattern arises as I hit my head to back to side continuously. I finally meet the bottom steps and fall next to them. Ow that hurt like hell. I no longer have the strength to watch the fight upstairs. I simply close my eye's and lay my head under the wooden, bottom stair.

Bellamy:

I warn Finn that next time I won't hesitate to kill him if he ever steps foot in this house. Once he found out that The cops were coming he runs. Straight down the stairs he practically sprints as he even jumps a few stairs. I put new home phones in every room ever since Clarke came back so that if anything happened she could get access to it. I guess Connor did what he did best and called the cops. I'm proud of him. Once Finn jumps the bottom steps I see Clarke on the floor at the end of the steps. Motionless, My heart drops. I was so caught up in Finn I didn't notice Clarke falling. I run down the stairs similar to how Finn did. I see the front door wide open from his rush to leave.

"Clarke!" I jump over the last step and kneel next to her grabbing her face in mine hands. "Come on, baby." I lightly tap her face between my hands. Her eye's flutter open as she responds by softly grabbing my wrists in her hands. She smile's up at me. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Don't you ever! do that again!" A small tear slips past my barriers. "I just got you back-" My voice cracks form the on coming stream of tears that followed. She nods.

"I'm sorry, Bell" She whispers, weakly.

Once the cops got here I told them what happened as the EMT looked over Clarke and I. Then next morning as we all laid in my bed. Clarke has a mild concussion as I have a bruised rib and a sore shoulder. We lightly tell jokes about Finn to try and lighten the mood. We'll be okay.

I was too excited to not write another chapter lol. I hope you liked this update. Tell me what you think and any ideas you may have ;)


	11. Not An Update.

This is my newest story: 'Our One Solution' I came up with in Class today. I would like to tell everyone I am in winter guard now meaning I have practice Monday and Wednesday night as long as Saturday mornings. Please check out the new story and I will try and update any time I can.


	12. Say Something.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dYlvdLdK9w

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> click link above for music.

Bellamy:

A week has passed and we're finally fitting into a routine. I still haven't gone to work since. I just can't, I'm too scared that bastard will find his way back here.

"Bellamy seriously we'll be fine!" Clarke mumbles with a mouth full of bacon. She's trying to get me back to work.

"No, Clarke. I'm not gonna say it again." I hiss at her stuffing my own mouth with a waffle not bothering to cut it. Connor laughs at my attempt to fit it in my mouth. I smile back at him through all the waffle blocking my teeth, he laughs harder.

"I can't just come here and make you drop everything and stop working, you need this job more than anything and I'm not going to be the reason you get deployed!" She continues. I sigh knowingly that she is right. I will probably lose this job if I don't go back soon. Before I could respond she goes on. "It's either go back to work or we go and live somewhere else." My eye's snap up to hers at that.

Connor stops eating and sets his fork down, sadly looking down at his food. I know neither want to leave.

"No, Way!" I declare. "If you leave I'll only be more worried!"

"Connor can stay here while I go and look for somewhere." I shoot out of my seat, I refuse to let her leave this house.

"No!" I yell. Connor flinches.

"May I be excuse?" His English was off yet got the right idea. Clarke doesn't respond instead she just glares at me.

"Yes." I reply for her. Connor makes a run for it and up stairs away from the on coming drama. "This isn't good for him." I hiss at her never leaving her eye's. She stands up as well.

"Me leaving would fix that." Her voice is soft and fragile.

"No, it wouldn't it would only make things worse!" I can't have her abandon us. She doesn't respond, instead she finds interest in the counter to our left. "Where would you go?"

She meets my eye's again. "I don't know." She shakes her head at me.

"Clarke-" I try and convince her but she interrupts me.

"I can't stay here Bell, Finn is after me!" She stops for a moment and points to herself as if i didn't know who she was talking about. "If I leave that leaves you and Connor out of this!" She continues moving her hands all around.

"Clarke your not any safer out there!" I step towards her and around the table. "Please, stay." I practically beg her. She shakes her head in response and starts backing away with tears running down her face. "Please, Clarke!" She walks towards the stairs as I reach for her. My eye's well up with tears as well. Before I could stop her she runs up them and into the guest room. I try and follow but she locks the door.

"Clarke!, come on open the door!" I bellow to her. I lean on the door frame as I wait for her to walk out, soon enough she does just that and with a bag. "No! Clarke are you even listening to me!" I grab her wrist and turn her to me. "First of all your still healing, second of all you have no where t go! and third of all!" I point at Connors door. "That little boy in there! He needs you okay? Not just me!" I step closer to her and grip her so she comes closer as well. "What the hell am I supposed to tell him? Huh?" Anger floods my system like rain after a drout.

She looks sadly at me and shrugging her shoulders at me. The fuck? She retches her wrist from my grip and runs down the stairs, putting on her shoes. "Say something!" I yell at her. She glares at me and turns her attention back on her shoes and coat.

"Mama?" Our heads snap up to the stairs. Connor. Clarke opens her arms to him as he runs down the stairs and into her arms. She bends down and embraces him while kissing his head.

"I'll be back I promise." She assures him. I'm not having any of this. Connor nods at her in understanding. No! I feel like I'm invisible. Like a ghost who is trying to talk to their loves ones form the other side. Oh god I feel helpless right now. She stands back up and walks to the door, but I block her and make her look at me by pulling her chin up to match her eye's with mine.

"Now you listen to me" She blankly stares at me with tears slipping out of her eye's and down her face making contact with my hand that remains on her chin. "Your not! and I repeat Not! leaving this house with out me." I scream at her. She flinches and removes her face from my hand. I give her a sorry look.

"I'm sorry I-" I try and apologize but she's not having any of it. She shoves me to the side as she runs outside and down the street. Of course she has no car. "Clarke!" I try and run out to her. The rain blocks me from seeing anything ten feet away at most. "Clarke!" I yell again and this time I let my emotions out and allow myself to cry. I sob in the rain feeling as weak as I ever did. Connor stands at the door way watching everything go down. I walk back inside and accept defeat.

How could it have gotten to this point?


	13. Black Is The Color Of My True Loves Hair.

Okay so the 100 aired today and it is currently 12:00 A.M. and I am still trying to cope XD

 

Weeks pass. 3 weeks to be exact. No sign of Clarke. I'm so tempted to file a missing person's report, but I know it will do no use. I've been working in the force and they don't do shit about a missing person. I await Connors arrival to eat breakfast. The memory flash's through my eye's of the fight. Damn. Where are you Clarke? The possibilities of what could be happening to her at this moment scare me shitless. I place the two heaping plates of breakfast sausage, eggs and pancakes on the table. I haven't had much energy nor appetite since she left.

I sit down at the table with my head in my hands, trying to rid the thoughts from my head before I literally snap. About ten minutes later our food starts to get cold as I slowly eat getting more and more curious about why Connor isn't up yet he's always up early. Most times I find him up way before me staring out the living room window. He's been struggling as much as me since she left. I bring my plate to the sink and push it down the drain accepting I'll probably never finish it.

Suddenly there is a door slamming. fear crosses my features as I grab a kitchen knife from the droor to my left and head to the kitchen door. I'll fucking kill him. Just as I was about t call out I hear hurried foot steps up the stairs. Oh hell no.

I break into a run after them. Once I reach the top of the stairs I see Connors door wide open. I jump inside ready to attack them before they reached Connor. Blonde locks make me freeze in my place. She hears my sigh of relief and quickly turns around. She looks like hell. She wears an old and scratched up leather jacket with a dark green, dirty shirt under it. Her skinny jeans are also ripped. The dark clothing reveals parts of her legs that also show scraps. What happened? I meet her eye's to see her tired expression looking me over as well.

"Where have you been?" I question, breaking the harsh silence.

She takes a few steps closer to me before she answers. "Where is Connor?" My eye's sweep the room to see an empty bed and messy room filled with his toys he used to play with still sitting in the same place from weeks ago. He must have lost interest. She steps even closer, her breath tickles my neck. "Where is he?" She demands. This does not seem like the Clarke I remember.

"I don't know... I mean I was waiting for him earlier for breakfast, but he never showed I was about to come up here when you came in." I lift my hand to her face to try and inspect a cut that juts across her cheek. She backs away as tears fall from her eye's and sobs rack her body.

"No..." She shakes her head, running her hand through her wild waves. "No." She continues. "No!-" She breaks off into more sobs.

My heart beats fast as I realize she must know where he is and that he truly is missing. My eye's widen at the realization. "Come on we'll find him." I go to touch her arm for reassurance, but of course she moves away again. "Clarke-" I try but she interrupts me.

"No. no I cant lose him Bellamy." I haven't heard her say my name for a while. Shivers curse my body even when I try to ignore them.

"You won't, come on he couldn't have gone far." I try to have her follow me, but she just shakes her head.

"No- No! you don't get it do you?" She points to me. I give her a confused look. "He's gone! Bellamy Gone! Fi- Finn took him. I'll never see him again!" She falls to her knees. I soon follow and kneel in front of her. this time she doesn't resist my touch when i pull her chin up and come in for an embrace. Her sobs come in more ragged and uneven as she breaks down in my arms. I try ans sooth her by rubbing her back and whispering to her that 'we'll find him again' and that 'I wouldn't let that happen.'

Ideas?


	14. Safe Haven.

Clarke:

I was done crying. Connor is out there somewhere with Finn doing who knows what to him. I have no idea where hell he could be. The living room is quiet as I sit here with my hands leaning on my knees, supporting my head.

"Clarke?" Bellamy's voice startles me. I look up at him and sigh. He walks over and sits next to me. His left hand rubs my back comfortingly. I sigh once more leaning over and resting my head on his shoulder. He embraces me bringing his head on top of mine. His breaths ruffle my hair. He doesn't say anything like 'we'll find him' or 'we'll get through this' because honestly neither of us know. A knock at the door interrupts us. we break apart abruptly with fear in our eye's we look at each other.

Bellamy watches me as he gets up from his position and cautiously walks to the door, but not before stopping in front of the window that is set next to the door. He looks out of it and to the left in order to get a good look at whoever it was. He looks back at me in confusion. At this I sit up straighter and begin to get up while he opens the door. When I reach him I look out the door with him to see a police officer standing there.

"May we help you?" I question. Bellamy rests his right hand on the small of my back.

The man holds up his badge as if his pin wasn't enough proof. Bellamy nods his head at the man before pulling my arm with him to step aside.

"Please, come in." He say's nervously. I glance at him and smile reassuringly he gives a curt nod before watching the officer walk in.

"Thank you" The officer replies while looking around the house. I close the door awkwardly as the tension increases in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Please... Follow me." Bellamy leads the man into the kitchen and offers him coffee.

"I'm good actually." He holds up his hand as if to stop Bellamy. We all sit down and watch the man fix his uniform uncomfortably. My annoyance builds for at least 2 minutes before I finally blurt out.

"Just spit it out already." I raise my hands off the table slightly just about ready to stand before Bellamy grabs my arm and holds me there. The officer stares at us questioningly for a moment before he continues.

"It seems that just this past Thursday night we have found and arrested Finn Collins." I abruptly stand up ripping out of Bellamy's hold.

"What the hell do you mean you found him?" I ask doubtfully.

"He was caught shoplifting in a convenient store when one of our local officers recognized him and arrested him." He answers nonchalantly.

"Where's Connor?"

"I'm Sorry?" he raises his eye brows in uncertainty. Bellamy stands up and pushes my shoulders down so I would sit on the chair. He soon follows suit.

"My son-our son. Finn Collins and I" I continue stiffly.

He relaxes in understanding just to stiffen once more. "We had no idea he was missing Mrs.Collins-"

I cut him off rudely. "Don't call me that!" I yell.

"Clarke-" Bellamy tries to calm me, but it only seems to make me seethe with anger.

"No! Bellamy" I hold a finger out to him to stop him from continuing anymore. I focus my attention back on the man.

"I haven't exactly filled out a missing persons report." I reply embarrassingly.

"And why not?" He pulls out a pen and a pad.

"I... Look officer...?" I try to read his badge from across the table.

"Miller." he answers.

"Right. You understand. You have kids right?" I raise my eye brow. "You know how its like to lose a kid and be in full panic. The only thing I want to do." I push my pointer finger onto the table as if to point out something. "Is find him. Wasting time chit chatting with you guys are not going to help in any way." The man writes something down before focusing back on me.

"I would not allow that to happen to my kid" he watches us carefully and suspiciously. "Plus it helped us find Finn Collins... Didn't it?" My face must be burning with red as I can feel the heat rush to my cheeks.

"After! he attacked me again! and! After he kidnapped his own son-My son!" I point to myself on emphasis. Officer Miller nods. How can he possibly be so calm right now. "And i didn't mean for that to happen to him." My voice brakes as tear a-line on my eye's.

"They usually don't... One last question." He looks between me and Bellamy. He then readies his pen and asks. "How do you know that Finn is the one who kidnapped him?" He writes down another things before looking at us awatingly.

"I got a note." I pull out a crumpled piece of paper and throw it down on the table. He leans over and grabs it as Bellamy looks at me and the paper continuously.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Bellamy asks me quietly as he clenches his jaw stubbornly. I look over at his hurt eye's and melt slightly, I didn't realize he cared so much. I flash an apologetic look before turning back to Officer Miller.

" 'return home to find your most prized possession gone. What a shame. He really is cute. I'm glad I could help in the process of getting him into this world. Too bad I have to take him out.' " He reads out loud. Bellamy stiffens and clenches his fists constantly. I grab his hand to calm him. A tear leaks from its barriers in thought of the message.

"Why does this prove this is Finn Collins?" He asks, putting the note into a plastic bag for evidence.

" 'I'm glad I could help in the process of getting him to th-this world-d' " I regurgitate the words he had just read while sniffling sadly. "He's the father." I point out as if it was obvious. The officer continues to write in his note book.

"Thank you both for your time." He nods before leaving the room. "Ill get back to you." He calls from the door before leaving completely. Bellamy gets up and starts pacing the kitchen.

"Bella-" I try just to be cut off by his angry outburst.

"The fuck would you keep this from me huh?" He flails his arms around fuming with bottled up anger. I get up and turn to watch him pace while leaning on the table carefully. "You know I'm so sick! and Tired! of getting pushed back all because you!" He points to me. "Won't let me in!" He continues. He's right. I've never completely been able to keep him in the loop since Finn came into my life.

"Bellamy..." I whisper sadly. He stops abruptly in front of me.

"Don't you get it?" He asks yet I'm not sure its a real question. He grabs my chin to force me to look at him in the eye. His left hand grabs mine. "I-... I love you Clarke." He breaths "So so much it hurts." A tear escapes his eye. I lift my other hand and wipe it away, trying to wipe away his sadness. "Do you know whats its like to know your out there somewhere possibly hurt and not able to do anything!?" I cry with him at this point. "I wanted you to stay here... with me. Safe. But no you left me, you left him!" He gasps.

"I know Bellamy I know." I nod. "But I knew I could. Because he had you." I tilt my head at him. He starts to sob as I do and we slowly bring it in to hug. My arms ring around his neck, elbows bent to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. His arms encircle around my waist squeezing tightly, unwilling to let go.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper in between gasps for air. He holds tighter.

"Me too" we break apart and wipe each others tears away before staring at each others eye's like the galaxy could be seen in them. A whole knew world. Then something magical happens. We both lean in and kiss gladly. my arm hook around his neck again as his arms take permanent residents around my waist. our tongues dance in time while heading down the hall and up the stairs. never releasing each other. With his door closed we could finally escape and be alone.

Ideas anyone? Please leave reactions as well :D


	15. Baby Pictures.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> view my wattpad to actually see the pictures they look like im rhiann101 on there

Bellamy:

It's been a week since Officer Miller came by. Silence filled the air the entire time all throughout the day. It's the same morning routine each day. I leave for work early in the morning until 4:00 P.M., then Clarke leaves about 5:30 P.M. to 3 A.M. for her shift at the hospital she had recently started at. We would kiss each other hello and goodbye each day with out a word to each other. Today was both our days off which is Sunday's mostly others not.

"So, you haven't found anything? are you serious?" Clarke speaks through the home phone as she look through her computer that lays on her lap. She sits up in a tense stance on the couch of the living room. I sit next to her with my hand around her waste, flipping through the channels on the T.V.. "It's been a week!" She exclaims.

I unconsciously draw circles on her skin in comfort. I hear the patient investigator on the other line speak to her in a hushing tone.

"Clarke It's useless." I mumble closely to her right ear as the other occupies the phone. I then rest my head on her shoulder looking down at what she has up on her computer. She's looking at some older photo's that she must have uploaded to her computer form her phone. A bunch of them shows Connor from when we first brought him back from the hospital. The hospital bracelet hangs loosely on his small wrist. I smile at the memory. I then look at some other photo's on her laptop. Some of him as a baby up until now.

Some of him as a baby up until now

Then she clicked on a photo of Connor that was taken at school when she had straightened his hair the first time for picture day

 

"That's the one" she mumbled to herself. She then said a quick goodbye to the investigator and hung up the phone, tossing it on the sofa cushion next to her. She left click's the image and transfers it to an editing software. She then types 'MISSING CHILD' on the top and more info on the bottom. I catch a glimpse of her wiping a tear away from her cheek after pressing print. I grab the laptop and put it on the coffee table in front of us before gathering her in my arms and holding her.

When the sounds of the printing machine stops she breaks away from me and grabs all the copies she's made. There's got to be at least 50 copies, but I'm not complaining. I want to find him so bad, I miss his little quirkiness and tiny smiles.

"Come on." Clarke say's breaking me from my thoughts. My eye's land on her trying to put on her shoes while holding the stacks of paper at once.

"What? Now?" I ask a bit baffled.

"Yes, now. Could you-" I'm off the couch and grabbing the papers from her before she continues as to prevent any accidents. "Thanks."

"Clarke we can't go now." She stops struggling with her coat and glares at me.

"The hell we can't." She grumbles menacingly at me. I huff in frustration and glare back.

"Clarke it's almost 9:00 and it's nearly pitch Black outside not to mention it's freezing out there." She shrugs at me before attempting to open the door. I push my self against the door to refrain her from opening it.

"Bellamy, get the hell out of my way." She points to the ground on emphasis. I shake my head no and keep my ground.

She reaches for the papers and snatches them before I could protest and walks into the living room setting them down on the table next to her laptop. Her back is to me as she stands up straight and runs a rigid hand through her hair. I then hear her sniffle as she slumps in posture. My face falls.

"Bell- just please! I'm done sitting here!" She snaps back to face me again. Voice cracking, teary eyed and shaky hands. I walk forward and slowly turn her to me, grabbing both of her hands and holding them to my chest.

"I know..." I allow one of my hands to grasp both of hers as I take the other and push back the hair that covers over her right eye. "I know. And I'm trying- we're trying." I bring my hand back to our conjoined hands and rest my forehead against hers. Never breaking eye contact I continue. "I promise you we won't stop looking until we have found him." Her eye's tear up at my words. I lower my voice. "I promise you that." I grumble sincerely to her. She nods her head in great understanding.

"Now lets go get these papers up." I whisper to her. "Gonna take all night so lets get started" She looks up at me with the biggest smile i haven't seen on her since Connor's first words. I laugh genuinely just at the sight. She jumps up and grabs about half the stack and runs to the door excitedly like a child on Christmas morning.

"Then lets go! what are you waiting for." I raise my hands in surrender. Grabbing the rest of the papers and making my way out I shake my head at her before leaving. She laughs in return and push's me out the door.

An hour later...............

We are both currently running down the street using a stapler and some duck tape we found in my car to hang up the signs. Having to work tomorrow sucks, but right now is a peaceful night with no worries. I run up behind her as she hangs another sign and kiss her cheek. She smiles at me then walks with me to the next post. Our energy has pretty much drained by now. I get a look at her face to see her frown at something she must be thinking about.

"What is it?" I reach for her hand to hold once she finishes putting up the sign.

She looks at the ground before meeting my eye's. My brow creases in worry.

"How long?" She asks shakily before taking a long swallow of air. I was about to ask what she meant before she continues. "How long until I see him again." A sharp pain hits my chest at her words. I hate this. I hate this so much. This is her son. I know I'm not his father and I'm not a parent at all. I just wish I knew how exactly she felt. I definitely love the little dude as my own and I hate saying this, but he's not mine. I wish he was though he's not. I would do anything to change that.

"Come on... lets go hit some other places in town." She nods in response and follows.

....................................................................................

By the end of the night we could see the sun coming up as Clarke's safely asleep in my car. I glance down at her and smile. We got pretty far out in town, so far we are now in a wooded area. The dirt road crumbles under the tires of my car. It's been a bumpy ride for a bit and is still going.

I suddenly see a flashy movement to my left and follow it. Someone or something is running along the road, hidden by the dense trees. I lean closer to the glass of my car and squint at the fast moving thing. It then makes a sharp turn and jumps into the road.

"Help!" it Calls. Wait that a f*cking person.

"The hell?" I whisper to myself slamming the breaks. Clarke groans and looks up at the commotion. Her eye's slowly adjust to the dim light of the glowing morning sky.

"What happened." She mumbles before she suddenly sits up straight and rubs her eye's at the sight of the bloodied person walking towards the car. I role down my window and yell to the woman.

"Hey! stop right there." They stop immediately at my commanding voice looking petrified.

"I just need help... Please!" she cries

I look over to Clarke who meets my eye's "I'll be right back." I unhook my seat belt and go to open the door when Clarke's outstretched hand grabs my bicep. I turn to her in response.

"You can't be seriously going out there. We. Don't. Know. Them. who they are. or even where the hell they've been, Bellamy." She glares with a shocked look still evident.

"That's why I'm going out there, Clarke." I open the door completely and step out.

"Bell-"

"What do you want me to do Clarke?" I ask flabbergasted.

"I-I don't know call the police or something." She stammers.

"I am the police." I shut the door and slowly approach the seemingly beaten woman.

"Are you okay?" I ask softly. Looking her up and down I take in her appearance.

Her Flannel shirt has seemingly been painted in blood along with her face and arms. Cuts are placed randomly over her legs and face. Her hands cover over the large gash in her abdomen. Her weight is shifted on her small, skinny legs. Her jean shorts are almost nothing at this point. I turn my head towards the car not yet taking my eye's off the strange woman. "Clarke get the blanket from the back seat and bring it here, please."

The woman's eye's snap back to me from where ever she had been staring off, catching my attention and putting me on guard.

"Clarke? did you just say... Clarke?" The brunet asks tentatively. I nod my head questionably before I hear a car door shut and watch Clarke walk out and slowly towards me.

"Hold on a second Clarke." She abruptly stops and waits as she shifts the large blanket in her hands.

The woman's gaze watches Clarke which makes me uneasy. "You know her?" I ask Clarke giving a side glance her way.

"N-no" Clarke shifts nervously. "I don't think so."

"You don't know me... But I know you." The woman interrupts. She then takes a step closer to Clarke springing me into action. Clarke had walked from the right, passenger side to the front of the car about 10 feet away from this woman and I didn't like it. I quickly walked in between the two and reached for the blanket. Once I grasped the item I then walked over to the woman who had not taken her eye's from Clarke.

"Here." I hold out the blanket at which she greedily took it and wrapped it around herself for protection against the coarse weather.

"Th-thank you." She stutters.

"Clarke get in the car, in the back please." She started to protest, but I wouldn't let her. "Now Clarke."

Once Clarke was safely inside I led the woman to the passenger side. In this case if or when she tried to do something Clarke was out of her reach.

The drive home was awkward and quiet.


	16. A new?

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Love Is Foreign


	17. Greater Days Ahead.

Clarke:

We took her to the nearest hospital to get her checked out. The cops came and talked to her. We weren't allowed inside the room during that time. Bell and I sat outside the room in some chairs that sit on the side of the hall.

I sigh and lean my head against the wall. It seems that we've been out here for hours. I close my eye's thinking of Connor. If he's okay... alive? I just want him back.

The door opens causing me to snap my eye's open again and unconsciously grab bell's hand. He squeezes mine in return. The officer stands in front of us with a clip board resting against his stomach, his left hand holding it steady. Once he looks up at us from the papers in front of him he looks between us. He then holds a pen out and points at me.

"Clarke Griffin?" He asks surprisingly.

"Y-Yes." I mumble.

He just shakes his head in confirmation then turning to Bellamy. "Seems you got to the lady just in time. A little longer out there and she would have bled out, so the doctors keep telling me." The officer say's pleasingly.

Bellamy simply nods his head. Almost impatiently he asks.

"So... What did she say?"

The officer scratches his head as if in thought. "Uh..." He looks up at the other officer exiting the room and walking past him. "Well for right now what I can tell you is she could be a potential asset to your case. This means neither of you can talk to her until she is released and put in our hands. We will continue speaking with her for more information and get back to you. Shouldn't be too long now." He gives a weak smile and walks off.

Bell runs an annoyed hand through his hair and releases my hand to rest his sweaty palm over his knee. This will be forever. They won't even tell us anything right now. Since Bellamy is in a personal relationship with my son he can't look into this investment either. Bell then stands up and nods towards the exit as a signal to 'let's go'.

Once back home we both collapse into the bed. Tonight we don't try to convince each other or ourselves that everything will blow over quickly and that we'll see him soon. We just take tonight to try and let this sink in. How did that woman know me? Could this have something to do with Finn?

"Sleep" Bell murmurs after a yawn of is own. We both turn opposite ways and try to do so.

Tears fill my eye's in thought of Connor. I miss his mop of hair and snarky attitude that fits perfectly with his beautiful personality. I wipe the tears away and fall asleep.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By morning Bell is gone as it's well past 8:00 in the morning. It's almost 2:00 when I finally decide to get out of bed and eat something. When bell comes home he finds me on the couch drinking coffee before my shift. It's completely silent in the house, not a T.V. on. Bell sits beside me and whispers.

"I asked around at work today."

My head snaps towards him in surprise and raise my eye brown to show I'm interested.

"And?" I push.

"One of my buddies are working on the case so he told me what he knew... He said that the woman was held in what seems to be a house for months. She had gone missing 6 months ago. No trace of her. Just like Connor..." He grabs my hand and continues. "While talking with the woman they got her to explain how she knew who you were... she said that she heard the men who took her talk about you. That they were trying to make some sort of plan..."

"What kind of plan, bell?"

He shook his head to show he didn't know.

"He told me that she had stopped at that as if that was the end of her memory. He said it was weird and that she was acting strange. Almost like the results of abuse. Like it was too painful to continue so he went on to another topic. He had asked her about a boy named Connor and showed him the Lost Child poster you and I made." He shifts to bump my shoulder on emphasis.

My eye's fill with over whelmed tears. "She knew him?"

Bell shrugged his shoulders. "We don't know yet. All she did was stare off at the picture then broke down. Which could be because she recognized him. They couldn't be sure."

I slump against the couch in defeat. Allowing the tears to take over and flow freely down my face. Sobs rack my body as Bell tries to take me into his arms. I bury myself into his chest.

"He's dead!... He's dead." I feel bell mumble a 'no' and shake his head.

"He is! what else could that mean bell!?" I yell and push away from him and stare into his eye's. They're shiny with fresh tears.

"It could mean that maybe she had a son. Or maybe she saw him. Or maybe! she was just in a vulnerable position and broke down, Clarke okay? Don't you ever." He grabs my shoulders and shake them. "Say that again. You hear me!?" I stare at him still. "I will not stand here and watch you fall apart Clarke Griffin." He hold me close again. "Not ever." As he cradles my head.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I turn out to call in sick and we spend the night after dinner, together.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The week goes by fast and Sunday morning comes back around. By noon we agree to not take any calls from anyone or even leave the house today. By now we have lightened up a bit since a week ago. After Lunch someone knocks on the door and both of our stomachs drop in dread. Four police men are at our door and ask to come in. We all take to the couches.

Bell and I hold hands again and wait for someone to speak.

"We have a proposition for you." Officer Miller says.

Bell and I nod our heads. "Okay." We both say.

"The woman has informed us that... they have your son. He is alive." Bella nd I release a large breath and host small smiles.

"He's okay?" I encourage.

"We are not sure." The smiles are wiped from our faces.

"Now listen we are usually not allowed to do this, but in this case it's urgent." He looks directly at me. "The house hosts four missing children and two other missing people. From our sources we now know that seven most likely men roam the house."

I feel Bell stiffen at this. "What does this mean for us?" Bellamy scoffs.

"Well, what seems to be the 'boss man' wants Clarke. That is one of the reasons he has taken Connor. He wants an advantage and to feel powerful as you feel powerless."

"Who?" Bellamy interrupts.

"We aren't sure of the name, but the woman has described him to a sketch artist who has drawn us a copy." He pulls a piece of folded paper out of his pocket and drops it onto the table. I snatch it almost as soon as it hits the table.

I shakily unfold it and stare at the pencil marks. Tears breaks at my eye's and cascade down my cheeks. I nod vigorously and toss the paper on the table. Bell picks it back up and looks dumbfounded at it before shaking his head no and looking to me worriedly.

"Who" Both Officer Miller and bell ask.

"He was Finn's best friend. I met him before Finn and he introduced me to him." Then it all hit me. The last note... 'I helped bring him into this world.' It all makes sense. It wasn't Finn. It was Murphy he was the one who got us together. Who knew... The wife beater and murderer/kidnapper are best friends. So close that they'll hopefully rot together in jail. Stronger sobs rack my body violently.

I can't breath. Why is everything so god damn messed up. I can barley trust anyone anymore. Can't even trust an innocent person walking down the street apparently. I come back to reality and find myself limply in Bells arm crying loudly as he sh's me and hums. Trying to calm me down the best he can. I love him so much. Damn.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but you know this man?"

Bellamy yells at him from into my neck. "Give her a minute, Jesus!"

I pull away and mutter. "It's okay bell." I then make eye contact with Officer Miller. "I knew him... he introduced me to Finn..." I then explain everything I realized as he takes notes. Bell stays silent the whole time obviously uncomfortable. I rest my hand on his back and rub slow small circles.

"Okay, Miss Griffin... Do you remember his name?"

I nod my head "John Murphy." He nods back and continues to write the other cops stand up, and walk out to the squad car.

"Okay look i need you to think about something." Officer Miller continues. "I have a son too. Nathan is his name and... I would do anything for him so I think you may want to do something about this correct?" I nod vigorously.

"Of course."

Bell eye's him suspiciously.

"Well since is is extremely interested in you I would like to offer that you help us as in being an inside man..." Bell shoots up, out of his seat angrily.

"Out." He yells pointing to the door.

"Bell-" I try to keep him calm. He just continues.

"No! Clarke!" He turns back to the cop. "Out now."

He stands up awkwardly yet with an almost expected attitude. "I'll call you and let you know." I reply handing him my phone before Bell got to me.

"What- No! Clarke are you actually considering this!?" His face becomes red with anger. Mr.Miller hands me my phone back with his number on it.

"Get back to me." He nods at the both of us before leaving our premises.

Bellamy turns to me completely before moving closer still filled wioth unrealeased anger.

"No! Your not doing this! You can't!"

"You have no control over this, bell."

"The hell I don't!" He comments.

I make my way towards the stairs with my phone still in my hands. Bell grabs it and looks down at it.

"Bell give it back right now!" I demand.

He ignores me and turns away, walking into the kitchen. I get a glimpse over his shoulder and see that he's trying to delete the number.

"Bellamy stop!" I yell before jumping on his back and trying to grab the phone away from him. He accidentally drops it and I jump off, lunging at it again. I grab it before he can.

"Clarke, please! I-I"

"You what!" I turn abruptly to look at his sad expression.

"I... I can't lose you okay?" He mutters defeated. "You could get seriously hurt going into that place... you could die!" He drops his head down. "And.. I can't let anyone else die!"

"Bell your not going to lose me." I lift his head as I rest my hand on his cheek just next to his chin. "We're going to find him. Okay? But we wont like this!" I exclaim.

"You don't know that. So many things could happen in there, Clarke." His lip trembles. I take him into my arms and embrace him with my arms around his neck.

"You have to be strong." I mumble into the side of his head. Kissing behind his ear. He shivers under my touch.

He brings me even closer to him then. "And what if I can't?"

"Then we do this... Together."

We brake apart just to start kissing again and make our way to the bedroom for then night.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning I wake before Bell and and grab for my phone at the side table. I press call on Mr. Millers number. He answers just seconds after.

"Hello."

I glance over at Bell's sleeping form.

"It's a go."

*****************************************************

Idea's? Reviews inspire me to write more!


	18. Rain Isn't As Always As Dark.

Bellamy:

I wake up to the smell of bacon. The strong scent carries me from the bed. Not bothering to put my pants or shirt back on I head down stairs.

It's quiet like every mornings around here since...

I step into the kitchen to find Clarke and...

"Jesus Bell!" Octavia covers her eye's and turns her head away. Clarke turns around as she was sitting with her back to me and laughs.

I quickly cover myself and blush furiously. Clarke throws her head back as she laughs harder. O groans louder.

"Go put something on" O screams.

I run up the stairs ass naked listening to them groan and giggle to themselves. Once I come back down O gives me a grossed out look. "It's not even fuck Friday." she complains.

"Or slut Saturday" Clarke encourages.

"What about turn up Tuesday?" O suggests. By this time I'm fixing myself a plate and sitting at the table with them, right next to Clarke. I grab her left hand under the table.

Clarke laughs at her own joke before saying it. "Wet Wednesday." Causing O to burst out laughing while watching me shake my head at them.

Octavia takes another bite of food while thinking before winking and saying "Mommy Monday" at that moment I felt Clarke stiffen and pull her hand away. I glare at Octavia while she gives a confused face at us. She then understands and shrinks down in her seat. "I'm so sorry Clarke. I didn't mean it like that."

Clarke just nods while looking down at her food, moving things around with her fork. The awkward silence sets in and stays for the whole meal. Clarke is the first one to be done and tells us she will be upstairs. As soon as she is gone I push my food away and put my elbows on the table, rubbing my face. I hear O sigh and fold her arms on the table, laying her head on them.

"I'm sorry, bell." She mumbles. I look over at her and push my plate in her direction.

"Dishes." I point out. She just rolls her eye's, but does it anyway.

I walk up stairs listening for what Clarke might be doing. I hear nothing and simply walk into our room. She's laying on the bed with the covers up to her neck. Her back is towards me unmoving.

I lay down on the other side and pull her towards me, rubbing her back in comfort. "She didn't mean it" I whisper.

"I know." she breaths out. "I just... nearly forgot." She shakes her head in disbelief at herself. "How could I forget?" She wonders.

I kiss her cheek and mumble to her. "We'll get him back. Then we for sure won't forget about that little monster." She smiles in response.

We lay there for a while after having O text my phone telling me Lincoln was here to pick her up for they're date and probably won't be able to come over for a week since she has work too. She has been working as a veterinarian for about a year now while she gets her masters degree. She is graduating early because she took so many classes in high school for it already so she got to skip ahead.

"I told Officer Miller I was going this morning." She broke my train of thought causing my anxiety to rise with her statement.

I pull apart slightly to look at her face. She offers a small reassuring smile. I return it as if to say 'OK'

"You're not mad?" She questions.

"I was yesterday at the thought of losing you..." I drift off slightly. "But... I realized that I can't protect you from everything. Especially when it involves your son." I stroke my thumb up and down her cheek. "But before we get into this... I just want you to know something." I continue.

"OK"

"I love you." She smiles. "You Clarke griffin, I love you."

She gives me a chaste kiss in return. "I love you too."

\--------------------------------------------

The next day The police come over and we go over the plan. Clarke is going to be wearing a wire while approaching the house and demand to see John Murphy while we hide in the bushes and few yards out watching. The idea is for them to take Clarke into the house and get a scope out of everything she sees. she'll also be wearing a chest camera that will be hidden. We'll have the entire house surrounded by the time she talks to him and 'negotiates.' With the distraction the team will slowly make their way into the house. With this we will go through the rooms and get people out and Clarke would be the one to tell us where the rooms are and which ones to go in.

On the way there we are still going over how we will get Clarke out which will be last. This pisses me off I want her out asap. Not to the point where they could use her to take advantage by putting her life on the line. The image of a gun to her head makes me stiffen. Clarke and I are in the back seat, hand in hand. There are two cars behind us holding the rest of the team that are planned to rescue the woman and children in the house. I'm shaking by the time we role up to the end of the trail.

There are trees all around us with only a dirt trail to guide us here and back.

"We stop here. the house is up ahead." The Driver states. Everyone gets out of their cars and suit up including Clarke and I. "We are going to need all the men we could get." He continues while handing me a bullet proof vest. I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Put it on." Not answering my silent question.

"You need me?" I doubt.

"All available men. Your a cop aren't you?"

"Well yeah but I spend most my time in the station answering 911 calls." I explain.

He shrugs in return and hands me my vary own hand gun. "Keep the safety on until further notice."

"Yes, sir." I pull my vest on before watching Clarke being suited up with a camera and a wire. "Why aren't you giving her one?" I ask anxiously.

"If we give her one they will know that she is with us and she's not alone. Not that they wont be suspicious already but we shouldn't confirm their suspicion. The camera and wire will be hidden well enough. We can't give her an ear set because they'll see it, but we will do everything to keep her safe." The man grabs my shoulder in a comforting gesture. This doesn't seem to work as my anxiety only seems to get worse.

Once we finish we start walking through the trees and soon enough we reach the tree line. There is a good sized yard between us and the house. I squeeze Clarke hand to let her know I'm hear. She shaking with fear and anxiety as am I. God do I want to be home, but I also want Connor back badly. I would do anything for them both to come back safely to me.

One of the mean walk in front of Clarke and look her over. "If anything were to be going in the wrong direction we will be listening okay? Don't forget what your mission is here you need to focus. Is everything Clear?"

"As day" Clarke replies. I smirk at her response always the quirky one. "Or at least not... today." She continued while looking up at the sky. I follow her gaze to see a storm setting in.

"You'll be okay" I reassure. She smiles before giving my hand a squeeze.

"Okay everyone" The man in charge speaks out. "Safety's on until I say so. You are to watch Ms. Griffin as she approaches. Do not shoot unless they shoot first. Team one is to be on the left side of the house waiting for further instruction while team two is on the right side. Team three consists of most people given we will need to access the back door at some point in order to get these people out. Remember everything I have told you on the way here. Work by the plan and everything will hopefully go as planned. Mr. Blake along with the four men I have chosen will be here watching the feed and listening to the mic. Move out!" He yells. Everyone else yells 'Yes sir' before doing so.

Clarke and I hug before she heads off leaving me to my own thoughts. We watch her walk towards the house while hearing back from the teams that are in position. Over the mic reader we can hear Clarke's heavy breathing. "Jesus." I murmur.

Clarke seems to be about 20 ft away form the front door when a two men walk out with their guns pointing at her and the other at the surroundings. Clarke whispers causing the mic to pick it up.

"Two men with assault rifles I can't see into the house yet. Everything seems old, abandoned." I watch the officer nod and write something down on his note pad. We then watch through the camera for a better look and see one man approach her slowly as the other continues to scan the area for any threat. We watch with gripped hands and tight postures as his eye's roam over the area we are sitting in and stop. we hold our breaths and hold it. He then continues to scan the area before nodding to the other man who was watching between Clarke and him.

"I need to speak to Murphy." Clarke speaks strongly. That's my girl. The other man grabs her by her arm and nearly drags her into the house. We then stick to watching through the camera. Fuck this is nerve racking, she's now in there with them. I study the house and look through the windows to see a man in each one watching out of them. They must have seen Clarke coming, sending those men out to talk to her. I tell the general of what I see and he nods giving me a proud smile.

"Nice eye's" We look back at the camera as someone shouts.

"She wants Murphy!" We then hear others laugh. It looks like they are now leading her and not right on top of her like before, giving her time to speak. "Stairway behind door leading upstairs. small whispers and cries can be heard. Old doors easy to access. I don't think any are locked or can be." She whispers. She then turns allowing the camera to see.

"Nice job princess." I croak to myself.

We watch as the men shove her into a room that seems to only have a desk by a window at the end. What we assume to be Murphy is sitting at the desk watching her with a crooked smile.

"What gives me the pleasure to see you, princess." Murphy asks lowly. the nickname on his lips make me tense and angry. Fuck you.

"We need to discus some things." Clarke replies bravely.

"Is that so?" Murphy smirked. "Well... please have a seat." We watch as he gestures to the chair across form him. Clarke does as told and awkwardly stares.

Murphy stands up and walk towards her. Once he is behind her we can't see him, but we listen to Clarke's breathing pick up.

"Are you sure you're not here because you want your son back. It was that crazy bitch wasn't it?" Her breathing stops and so do ours.

"Shit" the general curses.

"What? he knows doesn't he? that she is wired." I ask worriedly.

"Yeah." He takes a breath. "I mean I knew he would catch on, but not that quickly."

"Excuse me?" I ask furiously.

He continues to take death breaths in thought as he rubs his face.

"You knew he would find out she was wired and with us! but you still sent her in with out hesitation!?" I yell.

"Look he is a hardened criminal, not stupid." he nonchalantly replies.

"You have got to be kidding me." I pace. "I can't believe this. I trusted you! She trusted you and what? you just push her off the depend like no problem. No fuck you!" I storm off towards the tree line.

"Hey!" he yells and grabs my shoulder. "The only thing you will do is get yourself killed!"

I glare at him. "Get. Her. Out."

"We will."

"No Now!" I growl intensely.

"Okay" he say's calmly. We walk back over.

Murphy is back in front of her, crouched down with his hand on her knee. I feel my blood run freely through out my body in anger. The general grabs the radio and tells them to start moving into the house. Suddenly I watch Murphy grab her and everything cuts out. The mic, the video... everything.

"What just happened?" I ask frantically.

"He must have attacked her or something... Move out!" He yells into the radio.

At this point I'm shaking with fear. Please be okay. I'll be there soon. "I'm joining a team." i mumble before stalking off. I hear no protest only for one of his men to follow. I reach team 2 and keep going. I want to be on team 3 so I can get in as fast as I can.

"I'm with you!" I call out right before they looked to leave. They nod with no room for argument. I reach the door and knock it down by our shoulders. The house is filled with mold and dust. We walk into a hallway that lead to the door. Once we reach the central area where the stairs are and the front door we hear glass breaking. I jump ready for action when a man grabs my shoulder.

"Relax It's only team 1 and 2." He coolly answers.

I nod in understanding before walking up the stairs. Wasn't Clarke down stairs? we must have missed a door damn it. "Why aren't we looking for Clarke, she's down stairs." I whisper to the man next to me.

"We have to Clear the house first." I shutter a nervous breath.

We reach the first door on the left side of the house, upstairs. Two men knock it down showing a dirty room that looks like it hasn't been touched in ages. There is a bed with what looks to be a blood stain.

"Jesus" I mutter under my breath. We then hear another team yell 'Clear!' from the other side of the house.

"Next room everyone." We move out and break into the next 2 rooms. The third one had muffled cries and whimpers. We break it open to find the women that were missing. A few men stay with them and look them over while I ask frantically. "Where are the children." They shake their heads and shrug shoulders with spaced out eye's.

"damn it." a man near me swears.

"Over here!" someone calls from the other side. The rest of our team move out along with me and find them. They are holding a bunch of children in their arms some as young as a year crying in their arms. This is psychotic. I'll kill him.

A sudden dread falls over me to only find 3. Where the hell was Connor?

"Connor?" I call into he wind. My anxiety comes back full force. I walk down the hall cautiously barely listening to the gun fire in the back ground as they take out the guards left.

"Connor?" I call again, gun in hand.

"Beymy?" I hear coming from a closet door slightly further down the hall.

"Connor?" I ask hopefully as I run to the door. I tug on it to find it locked.

"Beymy!" He sobs.

"Hold on bud." I encourage. "You have to step back as far as you can go okay?" I wait and listen for his reply.

"Okay" He answers happily.

"I'm coming in bud." I pound my shoulder against the door and hear a slight crack. I do it once more ad it opens. The next thing I feel is a warm presence on my leg. "I'm here, bud" I bring him into my arms and hold him.

"I want to go home." He sobs.

"You are, I promise." I whisper into his ear before pulling back to look him over. He's slightly dirty and other than the scratch splitting his eye brow he looks untouched.

"Where's mama?" My heart ache's, remembering she's still in there.

"I'm going to get her, but I need you to follow those nice men out so you could be safe okay?"

He nods back and runs off to them. He stops before the stairs and looks back at me.

"Yove you beymy." I smile back at him.

"Love you too."

\-----------------------------------------

Clarke:

Murphy snatched my devices and threw them against the wall. Now he has me tied to this chair. He's been staring at me evilly for the past half hour.

"The hell do you want from me." I glower at him.

"Who said I do?" He replies with a small spark in his eye that I barely catch myself.

"well... you have me tied to a chair so... usually that means you want something." I continue challenging him.

"It's not something I want from you... per say, but form your boy toy who..." He looks down at an imaginary wrist watch. "Should be coming soon." He smirks.

"This isn't about him." I wait after a beat. "What is it you want form him?" I wonder

"The pleasure of watching you squirm when I kill him." I dismiss this not wanting to egg him on anymore.

"Where is my son?" I ask angrily.

"Lets worry about the now... shall we?" He pokes. He then walks over to me and bends down in front of me again. He brings his hand up causing me to flinch and strokes my cheek. I wince at the motions. "Your beautiful you know?"

"So you tell me." I reply snarkily.

"spicy. Just how I like them. Did you know that I was going to be the one to get your number? But no... Finn called dibs..." I swallow harshly.

The door busts open and I shift in my chair to see Bellamy and some other people pointing guns at Murphy. Murphy spins the chair to face them and pull a knife out, pointing it at my neck.

"Don't move. No one move!" Murphy warns.

"Let her go." Bellamy shifts nervously.

"How main stream. Come on come up with something different to say would ya?" Murphy quirks.

"Okay how about this?" Bellamy continues. "Move away or I'll blow your brains out."

Murphy laughs before bringing the knife closer. "Now see I wanted to kill you Blake and let her watch, but you know what?" I can feel his gaze on me. "I have a better idea." He then slices the knife along my collar bone. I moan in pain before a loud shot echoes in the room. The room spins and everything seems to tip. I see Bellamy in front of me, breaking the rope.

"You're okay." I encrypt over all the buzzing my ears are doing. I catch is little smile as he knows I'm okay. Once the rooms stops spinning and I could think straight I look intently at Bell.

"Hey." I whisper weakly.

"Hey" He picks me up and sets me on my feet. "You okay to walk?"

"Yeah"

We walk outside and towards the tree line. his arm is thrown around my waist. I didn't notice it was raining now. It seems to have been raining for a while now. It's dark out too.

"Mama!" I smile with joy with tears in my eye's with the sight of my son running to me. Tears stream down his face as well. I lift him and hug him tightly.

"Hey baby." I murmur into his unruly hair. I see bell watching the moment and gesture for him to join. He smiles and hugs us both. Connor puts an arm around my neck along with one around bells.

. . .

We lay at home.

Peace.

Finally peace.

"We are safe now." Bell mumbles as he snuggles both me and Connor closer. "Sleep now."

Peace surrounds our family.


	19. New Ground.

I'm so sorry, its been too long lol. missed you guys.

Bellamy:

It's been a while later. Connors now 6. His birthday party was last weekend at this bouncy house place. He loved it along with his adorable little friends who were kids of some of our friends and family. O and Lincoln came for the party and even after talking about Marriage. Of course I approved after Clarke convinced me it would be amazing and O would be and is so happy. I knew Lincoln was a respectable man and he would take care of her, but it was more of the fact that she was growing up and didn't need me anymore. Clarke scolded me for thinking that was and said that Connor needed me. Mornings were my favorite. Lying with Clarke and many times Connor because he had been getting nightmares.

"We should find a therapist for him." Clarke whispered in the early lights of the morning. Our white sheets compliment her pale features.

My eye's flow to Connors sleeping form with his long messy blonde hair and dark shadows under his eyes. Those shouldn't be there, not on a 6 year old.

"We should" I agreed.

She smiles in response. "I'll get breakfast ready."

I nod and turn back to Connor. He's so peaceful while he's sleeping. A little while later while the smell of waffles fill the air Connor starts to whimper. I bring my hand over to his sleeping form and stroke his hair back.

"Hey" I whisper to him.

He then starts shaking and crying in his sleep, grasping the covers in a death grip. Tears roll down his face.

"Connor." I shake him at his shoulders.

He cries out and grasps my arms, eyes snap open and stare through me. "Shh. Connor its okay, buddy." He cries out loudly and withdrawals his arms back to himself. He looks scared as if he didn't know me. He starts to sob and cry out more, tears racing down his face and onto his pillow. I freeze, what am I supposed to do in a time like this? I try and bring him close for a hug, but he pushes out his arms and keeps me away. My heart breaks a little.

I hear footsteps climbing the stairs and towards our bedroom. I know its Clarke. She opens the door wider than what it was at. "Hey, its okay baby. Mommies here."

Connor turns around swiftly before throwing the blankets off himself and scooting to the edge for the bed where Clarke scoops him up and cradles him slightly with her hand cupping his head and the other holding him up.

I frown at the thought that he must hate me. I know its not true, but he just isn't the same anymore. What a damn cruel world. I watch her give me a questioning look before turning around and walking down stairs. I turn over and look at the digital clock sitting on our night stand. The light from the window shines into my eyes.

Sighing, I lift myself from the bed and walk down stairs. I'm greeted by the sight of Clarke and Connor snuggling on the couch. She's rocking him while staring at me. She offers a side smile that I don't return. Breakfast forgotten I walk over to them and sit next to her on the side Connors head lays on her shoulder. He snaps his head at me when I sot down. His eye's are Glossy and full of un-shed tears. I smile at him and move my hand to his curly head and stroke from his forehead to the top of his head slowly. His lip quivers and right when I assumed he would start crying and retract from my touch he actually reaches towards me with both arms and whines.

Clarke moves him into my arms where I sigh satisfyingly, knowing he doesn't resent me at all. He's just scared. Clarke pats my shoulder and gets up to finish cooking breakfast that she's put on hold. I do the same as what Clarke was doing but hold him as tight as I could, reassuring him he was safe with us.

10 minutes later Clarke comes into view where she waves us over, into the kitchen to eat breakfast. I nudge Connor and lift him to look at his face.

"Ready to eat, buddy?"

He nods anxiously and clings back onto me. I walk into the kitchen and try to pry him off enough to set him down into a chair. "Common bud, time to let go." He only groans in response and hangs onto me like a life line. He starts to cry and that's when I lay down everything and allow him to sit with me across form Clarke.

We both share worried side glances the whole time. I got him to eat half a waffle and some berries then got lucky enough to fit some orange juice into him.

"Kindergarten starts in a week." Clarke announces drawing a sigh from me.

"How are we supposed to do that?" I scuff at her.

"We need to start therapy. soon" She gets up and grabs our plates before walking over to the sink and washing dishes. I turn to Connor and kiss his forehead before swiftly lifting him and setting him down once he relaxed from it. He whines with his fingers in his mouth and looks around the room and at his mother before crying and walking towards her. Garbing onto her pant leg which startles her. We both hated to be mean, but it was time to start letting go of us and start being dependent. It was going to be hard, but hopefully this time next year he'll be better with the help of therapy. Most 6 year old kids aren't this clingy. Given the result of a difficult situation this is common, but it has to stop at some point and us smothering him every time he does it wont help.

It's going to be hard and it sure as hell is going to hurt us more than him though in the long run its the better choice. Clarke chooses to ignore him and continue washing dishes. His cry's get louder, slobber lands on the floor as he stomps his feet at her. He then sits on the floor shifting his feet so they rest on her foot and move back and forth on top of them. Almost kicking her, but more of trying to get her attention. He hits his head against the cabinet under the sink trying to drawl attention while throwing the ultimate tantrum.

Clarke looks down at him to make sure he was okay. That was all he needed to move on and start screaming at her to pick him up. I move my attention down to my hands and rubs at my eye's in frustration. This was going to be way harder than I thought. When I look up I see Connor kicking at Clarke's ankles while screaming loudly.

"Hey." I drawl his attention back to me letting him know that he shouldn't be doing that. He gets excited that I gave him the attention he wanted which I shouldn't have done and gets up before walking over to me and clutching onto my arms. I move my hands away and face back to the table, leaning over I allow him to keep screaming. I feel him grab at my shirt and start pulling. I hear the water shut off and Clarke turns around drying off her hands with a paper towel. When she moves to throw it away Connor runs over to her and grabs anything on her he could grasp. Her pants, her shirt, her wrists even her hair when he could reach it.

"Stop it." Clarke would scold him when he tried.

\---------------------------------------------

Later in the day when I got back from work hoping everything went well at the therapy session, Connor was laying on the couch with Clarke watching what sounded like Disney channel. I couldn't believe it. Clarke sat next to him with his head in her lap. Connor mesmerized by the TV and his gold fish snacks he never noticed me walk over to them. I smiled at Clarke and she smiled back. I gave a success arm movement and she laughed quietly. I couldn't help it and walked over to her, giving her a long blissful kiss straight on the mouth Which she returned happily.

"Love you" I whispered.

"Love you too." She murmured turning her attention back to the TV and Connor.

\----------------------------------------------

The therapy sessions seem to be working great though the first day at kindergarten gave the real test. Connor seemed ultimately excited to go to school the past week. He even asked to go early yesterday which we had to turn down. We just hope that he kept this same attitude today.

"Connor." I whisper into his ear. He still comes into our bed late at night even without waking us sometimes. His nightmares never changed since the therapy, but his attitude and clingy need seemed to dissolve thankfully.

"Mm" He groaned in response.

"Time to go to school, bud." It's then that his eye's snap open and he smiles excitedly.

"yeah!" He yells startling Clarke awake fearing he was screaming again. she relaxes when Connor turns over and smiles brightly at her. "Let's Go!" He yelled again before running off the bed, jumping then running down stairs.

"Whoa mister breakfast first!" Clarke yelled after him before sighing and laying back down. I gave a happy chuckle before leaning over and kissing her sweetly. "Morning" She whispers in between kisses.

"Mornin'" I say back.

We resume kissing and fondling each other before Connor comes running back in breaking us apart, slightly embarrassed. "Come on!" He runs back down stairs and out of sight.

"We will continue this after." I point at her.

She then humorously gives me a solute. "Yes sir!"

The drive to school allowed Connor only to grow in excitement. He practically scarfed down his cereal in 3 seconds.

Other days he will take the bus, but we wanted to make sure he would be okay first. Once we arrived Connor quieted as he watched other young kids walk into the building.

"Alright scout time to get out, lets get to school." Clarke grasps my hand anxiously. He only stared out the window, grabbing the seat belt nervously. Clarke got out and opened Connors door unlocking his seat belt and lifting him from his booster seat. He clung to Clarke's chest and jacket.

"No" He said.

"I thought you wanted to go." Clarke asked him

"You come with me." He kept looking around at the other kids. Clarke was about to respond when a teacher came up to us and waved at Connor like most teachers do while kids get off buses and dropped off.

"You ready for your first day of school kid?" The woman asked.

Connor shook his head 'no' shyly. I get out of the car and tell her about this morning and that now he's just scared. We didn't want to scare Connor anymore if it were up to us we would take him back home and take him next year when he would hopefully be ready, but we couldn't he needed this. Clarke motioned for her to take Connor and as she approached Connor squealed sadly. Clarke put him down as she grabbed his upper arm and pulled him towards the doors. He started to cry and then sat down on the side walk so she could not take him further. She looked at us for permission that we gave almost immediately. I grabbed his book bag from next to his car seat and walked over to them.

The teacher picked him up screaming and flailing in thin air. I gave her the back pack and waved at an angry Connor as they walked away. When I turned Clarke was Crying silently. I frown at her before pulling her to me comfortingly. "He'll be okay."

I feel her nod on my shoulder. "Come on, time to go home."

The drive home was short and quiet as Clarke sobbed quietly. My hand rubs soothing circles on hers. I dreaded leaving to go to work a little while later. I won't be home until dinner. Clarke had actually quiet her job a few months ago since receiving Connor back into our arms. She didn't want to be away from him long and was miserable at work. Being home helped both of them and even me knowing they are okay and at home. With Connor going to school now adds more stress as to what he would be doing. If he was making friends or even learning anything.

I Just hoped he wasn't acting up. Coming home Clarke told me he went down early.

"He seemed okay coming out of school today. He even waved at a teacher he must have." She smiled to herself while telling me.

"That's good. he's doing better." I reply while sitting down to eat dinner.

"I don't think he got lunch though."

"Why do you say that?" I ask watching as she dug through her pocket. She then dropped a plastic baggie we put in his book bag that morning full of money for lunch.

"he was probably too scared." I suggest.

"Maybe." She whispers.

"Hey." I nudge her foot under the table. "Everything will be okay. I promise." She looks up at me and smiles lightly.

"Yeah" She agrees.

\------------------------------------------

Please leave your comments below Its what pushes me to keep updating!


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